After dropping Levi the Mighty Schnauzer off at the Doggie Foo-Foo
Beauty Spa where haircuts cost a dollar short of a fifty dollar bill I had time
to kill before my appointment at Bargain Cuts for Humans. Oh, boy, you know
what that means! Yup, the Guy Land Cafeteria is located in between the two
places and I hadn’t had my breakfast yet.
Did you know you have to have a strategy for
picking out a seat in the Guy Land Cafeteria? (So named for all the elderly men who fill
up the place in the mornings.) A woman can’t pick a table too close to “guy
tables” or she’ll look like a hussy. So I claimed one in the center of the
place with lots of empty tables surrounding me. Hey, what better way to test
your sex appeal with the geriatric set than to see if an old dude will come
long and pick a table next to you, forgoing the prime real estate along the
windows that take up three walls of the place? As I spread orange marmalade on my sour dough
toast---did I mention this café is a no dieting zone---a guy with a pot belly
eyed me over the top of the sports page and a retreaded stud-muffin ignored me
while reading a paperback. Clearly, neither one was impressed with my feminine wiles.
Soon a woman and her teenaged son came into the place and took
the table across the aisle from me. I wasn’t going to get any action from them
unless she was a lesbian and he was into aging cougars. Not to worry. They took
out their cell phones and off they went into their own little worlds---one to Facebook
and the other to Candy Crusher. What is it about Candy Crusher that's so
mesmerizing? I swear it must send out secret cult messages. Half the world
seems to be hooked on it while the other half, like me, is afraid to go there and find out first hand.
I had forgotten to pick up a straw when I went through the
cafeteria line so I went back up to the end of the line where I waited as a man
was getting his silverware and napkins.
“What do you need, darlin’?” he said.
“Just a straw.” I replied.
“One or two?
One or two? Okay,
it’s been a long time since I’ve decoded guy talk. Was this his way of finding
out if I was alone or with someone else? And just as I got puffed up pleased
with myself, thinking this old guy was flirting with me I remembered that some
people actually need two straws---one for pop and one for water. Dejected, I sat
down and eventually I watched as a 50ish year old guy with a lot of hair and
a cool swagger came in . Did I mention hair is in short supply at the Guy Land Cafeteria?
He took his time making his way to the back of the restaurant stopping at
tables here and there to talk to dinners and I thought, oh boy---yes, again. It was an ‘oh boy’
kind of day---Oh boy, someone wearing pants is going to stop at my
table and start up a conversation! Image my surprise when he turned out to
be the manager on his way back to his office.
By then it was getting closer to
noon when the elderly set all seemed to leave in unison to be replaced by the
Village People, working class guys in uniforms. Policeman, firemen, construction
workers, a couple of biker dudes. The only thing missing was the cowboy and the Indian
chief. Sadly, all my food was long gone by then and I wasn’t about to go back up
for pie. Though I must confess I thought about it. I was in the mood to goggle
men in the prime of their lives. No more
breakfast at the Guy Land Cafeteria for me, I decided as I walked out the
door. I’m switching to lunch.
After my haircut and a little shopping, I picking Levi back
up. He looked better than me. I still have hair hanging in my eyes. Darn hair
dresser is still growing out my bangs. I kind of like them though. It feels like
I can hide behind my hair and that came in handy with today's adventures in people watching.
On the way home I had to I stopped at Starbucks where, on haircut days, Levi expects to be treated to a pup-uccino
at the drive-thou window while I get one of their half price happy hour delights. But,
darn it, my favorite barista was missing from action. He can always be counted on to flirt with
little old ladies. Translation: He’s just a super friendly college kid who likes people and is not
afraid to treat woman of all ages exactly the same…just like my husband used
to do. <Big sigh.> ©
I'd go to lunch instead too. Old men have always liked me and I am always kind. Now that I'm almost 64 I'm sure that will change as time goes by. I'm way too old for many of them now. Good thing I'm not interested. I do like looking at handsome, physically fit men. Always have and always will. When I say he looks good coming or going you know I've found a really hot one.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. Scritches to Levi. ☺
I enjoy looking at men, too. I didn't sit in all those life drawing classes years ago for nothing. The human body is interesting, no matter what form it takes over the years. But I'll admit that "young" is better esthetically. LOL
DeleteSounds like a fun day.
ReplyDeleteI did have a good time. I like mine and Levi's hair dressers and the cafeteria always reminds me of Don. We used to go there a lot when we were taking a quick break from working on apartments or plowing late into the morning.
DeleteI enjoy looking at women. He,he,he. But the most important woman in my life is my beautiful wife Mary Lou who has put up with me for over 40 years. What a lucky guy I am.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful day. See ya.
Cruisin Paul
My husband was the same way, Paul. It never bothered me because I enjoy looking the guys. When you're secure in your relationship a little "window shopping" never hurt anyone.
DeleteI'm glad that you enjoyed the joke about the grandfather clock. LOL I laughed as soon as I saw it because I'm a grandfather myself. Ha,ha,ha. Have a great time Jean. See ya.
ReplyDeleteCruisin Paul
Paul is talking about a cartoon he posted on his blog for those who are wondering what we're talking about.
DeleteThis was so funny. H says that old men flirt with me in the grocery store, but he's wrong. Sometimes they just need help finding the peanut butter. I'm a people watcher, too. They never fail to entertain. I want you to go back when the village people are there and tell us about it.
ReplyDeleteI will do that one day soon. It's a great people watching place.
DeleteI think people have different definitions for flirting than I do and perhaps you too. People who are friendly by nature are often mistaken for flirts when they just like to interact with people and aren't afraid to talk to strangers.
My bestie and I meet for breakfast once a week at a downtown restaurant where there is a table at the front of about 8 retired guys who are there every time, so we always have to walk past them to get to "our" table in the quiet back part of the place. They watch us walk by but rarely speak -- it's a bit like being on display -- like the proverbial walking past a construction site back in the day. But I wouldn't give any one of them a glance. Their conversation is usually focused on grousing about "those damn Democrats". Deal breaker for me. LOL But one day a guy we'd never seen before (not with the group) stopped at our table TWICE to strike up a conversation. Nice head of gray hair, big friendly smile, very confident in his charms. I enjoyed the brief interaction at his first foray, but got annoyed when he interrupted us again. Oh well....looking may be better than actually interacting. Ha!
ReplyDeleteMaybe these breakfast places might be the bars of my youth when it comes to pick up places...at least the guy with a full head of gray hair thought so in your case. LOL Your deal breaker would be my deal breaker, too.
Delete