My Gathering Girls group planned a Christmas party that got
canceled, not because of the winter weather but because the woman hosting the
party ended up with a cement truck and its crew in front of her condo the day before
and they created a huge mess. They were there to fix a couple of steps and, she
said, they left so much cement dust that her daughter got it all over her
pants, her boots, her car and inside the condo, even tracked it back to her own
house. They tried to sweep it up but thought they’d need to rent a power washer
to get rid of the dust but the temperatures were so low they were concerned
they’d turn the area into an icy mess instead of just a dusty mess.
A week later---after the mess was cleaned up---and on the
spur of the moment we threw another party together. Or I should say the hostess
did. This time she didn’t want any of us to bring a dish to pass like we originally
planned. Secretly I think she prefers doing all the food herself. When I
offered to bring a cheese ball and crackers to the first party to snack on before
our dinner she said cheese cubes on toothpicks would be better. When someone
else volunteered to bring an avocado dip our hostess said she thought hummus would
go better with the “flavor profile” of the entrée she was making. I appreciate
why any hostess likes to control the full menu. Her house, her rules rule. She
eats healthy but I’d starve to death at her house because I don’t. I like meat.
I like carbs and ‘sugar’ is my middle name. Thinking about flavor profiles
of dishes blending at a potluck isn’t even on my radar. But I've often marveled over the fact that potlucks never end up with twenty crocks of baked beans and nothing else.
The day of the second party came and I woke up 5:30, my
alarm was set for 7:45 but couldn’t go back to sleep. So I got up, put on the
coffee and had two of the cranberry, golden raisins and pecans mini scones I’d
made the day before. My first batch ever and they turned out pretty well, if I
do say so myself. After the last of them were cooled and in the freezer I
remembered that I should have taken pictures of my baking experience for my
blog. Oh well, next time I’ll set the camera on the counter with the flour to
remind me. I experimented with putting sparkling sugar on half the batch before
baking them and I discovered I’m in love with sparkling sugar. I wish I’d
known about it back when I was baking breads. Not that many artisan breads would
taste right with polished crystals of cane sugar embedded in the top but I can
think of a few with the right flavor profile. There’s that phrase again. It's like chewing gum in a kid's mouth. I'm going to keep using it until the novelty/flavor wears out.
The party was fun. The hostess called on Chef Trader Joe’s to furnish a chicken pasta salad, a quinoa cranberry salad and an assortment of the most amazing crackers served with hummus. I will never again bad mouth hummus. It just needs the right crackers to make it stand up and be noticed in my world. And I’ll never again poke fun of anyone who worries about flavor profiles blending in. Yes, the sound you hear is me eating my words on that one. Her luncheon was yummy, even if we weren't tearing roasted meat off bones with our bare teeth.
The party was fun. The hostess called on Chef Trader Joe’s to furnish a chicken pasta salad, a quinoa cranberry salad and an assortment of the most amazing crackers served with hummus. I will never again bad mouth hummus. It just needs the right crackers to make it stand up and be noticed in my world. And I’ll never again poke fun of anyone who worries about flavor profiles blending in. Yes, the sound you hear is me eating my words on that one. Her luncheon was yummy, even if we weren't tearing roasted meat off bones with our bare teeth.
I came home from the party to find Levi’s favorite monkey with
a severed paw. Since all the windows and the doors were still locked there was
only one suspect for crime. Levi the Mighty Schnauzer. He hasn't chewed anything since he was a pup but if he's going to start in again, better the monkey than the sofa cushions. I’m guessing the monkey made a rude gesture that Levi couldn’t let
slide. The next day after finding the monkey I picked it up, intending
to mend the animal when I discovered the squeaker that had been inside its paw
was missing. I couldn’t find it anywhere which only meant one thing. Yes, I had
to go outside and poke around in Levi’s poop. Not easy to do when it’s frozen.
I didn’t find the squeaker and now I’m on Levi watch,
looking for signs that’s he’s either passed it or he's in digestive stress. (If it was
summer I’d sit outside while he’s pooping to listen for squeaker sounds as he
does his business.) In the meantime I’m feeding
him lots of thickly buttered bread. We once had a puppy who ate all kinds of
stuff, even managed to get his own flea collar off and ate all but the bucket.
It got to the point where I could call the vet---no charge---and he’d tell me whether or not
to go get his stomach pumped or try the buttered bread trick to help him pass
the object. And so for the second time in less than a week this fur baby mamma finds herself quoting
Rosanne Roseannadanna, “It’s always something.” ©
My sister and I used to feed our family dog, Dusty, Crayola crayons. Especially rewarding were magenta, silver, and copper. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, that's funny. I've heard about this in families with kids but I've never seen it first hand. Good thing they're non-toxic and safe for kids should they be the snackers.
DeleteGood Wednesday morning Jean. I don't like humus and never will and this quinoa cranberry salad, what the heck is quinoa? Yuck!
DeleteI feel so bad for Levi and you having to dig into poop. I hope the noise making is small enough so that Levi can pass it so that you can check his poop again. I want to laugh but I won't my friend. maybe just a little. My daughter has been cleaning up poop lately since her new little dog has been pooping around the house. I'm amazed that I'm talking about poop. Today I see my friend Nancy and travel agent about the final papers in preparation for my cruise. Yippee. See ya my friend.
Cruisin Paul
I just looked up with 'quinoa' is because I didn't know anything about it other than I put it in homemade soup. Here's what I found: "Quinoa was first cultivated by farmers in the Andes mountains in Peru and Bolivia between 5,000 and 7,000 years ago. While it's often referred to as a grain, this is a common misconception — quinoa is a broadleaf plant, which makes it a pseudocereal along with other ancient "grains" like amaranth and buckwheat." It's actually pretty good. With all the buffets you go to on cruise ships I'll bet you had it and didn't know it. It's become popular in recent years, markets as an ancient grain.
DeleteIt's been long enough since Levi ate the squeaker that I think he's out of the worry zone.
Have fun with your travel agent!
Well Jean, after receiving our papers for this years cruise 2019, we discussed about 2020. Guess what? Mary Lou ( she said do what you want ) & I have decided on joining Nancy's group on an a 11 day cruise. Cruisin, cruisin, cruisin. You must think that I'm nuts. See ya my friend
DeleteCruisin Paul
Ah, Rosanna Rosanna Danna, how i loved her.
ReplyDeleteCould the squeaker have gone under the sofa or something? I'd sure try all those places before I had to go through poop. :-)
I can't believe you don't like hummus - or didn't. Oooh I love hummus.
Did you like the quinoa? See I could eat everything with no meat. I love meat, I am a carnivore but I also love veggies and what you were calling healthy food. Didn't sound all that healthy to me, but still sounded great.
CNN has a special coming up about Gilda Radner's life. I didn't appreciate her humor at the time she was popular as much as I do now...given where humor has evolved.
DeleteI did like the quinoa but I'm not sure I'd ever make or buy hummus. Still tastes rather bland to me. The texture does work well with crackers. And Trader Joe's crackers are heavenly. She had 6 kinds including a gingerbread cracker that I loved. She also had a veggie tray and fruit salad as well..don't think I mentioned that up above. She served the pasta salad with and without the chicken.
What is a true potluck? I always thought it was bring what you wanted and if there are 20 crocks of baked beans, oh well. That's truly potluck. What I've experienced so often is a sign up list for the potluck so dishes aren't duplicated or the menu is curated so people sign up for a particular dish. Yes, there's always something.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen a sign-up list but that makes a lot of sense and a great idea. Popular in my circle of places that do potlucks is assigning a category of food based on the first letter of your last name. I hate that. I always seem to get a category of food I'm not comfort making.
DeleteWell I am glad the scripted potluck turned out so well. I had my doubts. How funny about Levi. Hope the squeaker turns up soon. That was why he ate the paw. Pretty sure after this poop patrol, he won't get any more squeaky toys.
ReplyDeleteHe loves squeaker toys so I can't make any promises. His very first toy was a huge monkey bigger than him and all that is left of it is the one paw that he still plays with. I inspect his toys often for weak or torn seams and squeakers have come out before but to the best of my knowledge he hasn't chewed any before.
DeleteOkay, I had to kind of laugh at the humus. Probably not for the reason you think, though. If you were really eating humus, you were eating really good dirt. I prefer hummus myself. Spelling aside, sounds like an excellent potluck. I, too, have wondered why there aren't all desserts (although I might like that) and no main dishes at a potluck, but it all seems to sort itself out.
ReplyDeleteSheila
Now you got me laughing. Good thing I'm not the president. It would be all over Twitter. He looks for smocking guns and I eat humus. I should have know 'humus'. The greenhouses attached to the flower shop where I worked for 10 years used to steam their humus every so often.
DeleteP.S. If anyone is wondering why you missed it, I corrected the spelling after Sheila's comment.
DeleteI wouldn't look forward to that kind of party with all sorts of surprise foods......and then you find out, the food is really good.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure the squeaker isn't under the couch or hidden right next to the leg of a chair. I hate the visualization of you out poking around in poop piles!!!!
It's possible the squeaker is under a china cabinet but I moved everything else looking. I pick up poop every week in his yard, poking through it isn't a big deal. I have long handled tools. ☺
DeleteI do declare, it is always something. Levi, you are gonna drive your mama crazy!
ReplyDeleteYour lunch party at your friend's house sounds fun, and I am all for buying a few things to make it easier to entertain. I used to do everything myself... from scratch. Even Ina says to have a few store-bought items like nuts, cheese and crackers. I am over trying to do everything myself.
I like hummus very much. Sometimes I make it and sometimes I buy it, but a good cracker is a good thing. There are so many different kinds. I like Trader Joe's pita crackers.
Levi puts a lot of extra steps on my Fitbit. He thinks I'm his servant.
DeleteI'm glad Trader Joe's is on the other end of town or I'd be there all the time. They truly have unique things.
Good trick on the buttered bread -- I never heard that one.
ReplyDeleteI both understand the hostess and the guests on the potluck. Although the "flavor profiles" is a bit over the top. I think when someone is lucky enough to have others bring food and all you have to do is come up with one thing and do the dishes, life is good. But I'd rather someone say a category like, "a salad" or "an appetizer" or even "a potato dish" instead of "no cheeseball, put them on cubes" (which for my two cents takes a LOT longer than making a cheeseball and isn't nearly as good. Even a sign up deal, which is what we do for Cork Poppers. Just sayin'... But I'm glad the luncheon was fun and delicious. And that cement company should do their own clean-up.
I love all the photos you share of your Cork Popper parties. I always guessed that you guys took turns cooking so it's interesting to know you use a sign up sheet.
DeleteIn the winter we have a hard time finding a house to hold a party for this group. My house has a hill that isn't always safe. A couple of ladies live in condos that require guests to walk too far from their cars, one lives too far out of town, etc. The woman who hosted twice now has such beautiful dinnerware, sliver and crystal that it adds a lot of glamour to our parties.
The cement company did work at several condos that same day and someone knew the owner and called him up to complain. He came out personally to check it out and they ended up coming back to clean but it took several days. I felt so bad for our hostess. She went to a lot of trouble getting her condo ready, even had table set.
Oh my! It IS always something, isn't it? Hope you find the squeaker soon, one way or another...
ReplyDeleteMe too!
Deleteoh my gosh, you really had me chuckling throughout this post; thanks! And thinking of the term 'poop squeaks', which got me wondering about the origin of 'pip squeak.' LOL LOL
ReplyDeleteThat said, I lost an 8 month old pup once to a rawhide strip. Decades ago. Before it was common knowledge that those damned things expand in their stomach. :(
Sorry, I'll never jump on the humumus bandwagon. Blech.
Glad you had a great potluck, and yeah, blending flavor profiles would never come up in my verbiage either. ;)
I'm always amazed when I go to the pet store that they still sell a lot of rawhide. Not only does it expand, those processed in foreign countries can contain a lot of bacteria that can make dogs very sick.
DeleteYou're so funny! Another great post! (And whenever I do a potluck, I make everyone tell what they're bringing because I don't want 8 damn salads! Yeah, a little controlling but I want an assortment of foods.)
ReplyDeleteSo wise! And I promise if I come to your house for a potluck, I won't bring a salad. I hate making them.
DeleteOh my! That Levi! And you're such a good puppy mama, digging through his poop. I have a visual image.... I never knew of the buttered bread trick. Will have to tell my son. He and his fiancé are getting a new puppy after the holidays.
ReplyDeleteNow on to "flavor profile". Totally cracked me up! My flavor profiles are mostly concerned with edibility, which when I cook can be hit and miss. I'm grateful for any food that shows up in my kitchen that I didn't have to prepare. And like you I'm gonna wear that phrase out, like bubble gum. So funny!!!!!!
I'm glad someone else finds the "flavor profiles" as endearingly funny as I did the first time I heard it.
DeleteIf you tell your son about the buttered bread, you don't use it on things that can expand in the stomach or medications that can poison. There is a poison center for dogs that you can call free for advice on things like that. Chocolate, for example, they have a chart that calculates the dog's weight against the percentage of cocoa in the chocolate and tell you when it's save to stay home and when you have to go to Pet ER. If you still need a gift for your son, consider a canine first aid or emergency medical book.
Thanks for the dog info. Great gift idea!
Delete