Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Changing Timelines and my Spooky Mind Reading Schnauzer


I always known that having a long timeline for moving that many things could throw a monkey wrench into the mix and disrupt my downsizing schedule and plans to get my house ready to sell. But who would have ever guessed that monkey wrench would take the form of a world-wide pandemic. The reality of that is sinking in. Last week I struggled to keep my self-imposed schedule of preparing and listing collectibles to sell on e-Bay and for the first time I missed my weekly quota, a quota designed to have me wrapping the project up by mid to late summer. I’m trying to get a feel for where the market is going, if the bidders will continue to be there. That’s the official excuse I’m giving myself but in reality I wasted a lot of time metaphorically sucking my thumb and worrying about how I’m going to keep moving my life forward when the world around me is on pause. Even the lot of 100 things I sent off to the local auction house just before all hell broke loose is sitting in the queue, advertised but with the auction postponed. I can kiss my stuff goodbye without compensation if they can't keep their business afloat during the shut-down. Been there, done with another auction house that went defunct years ago. They are/were my back up plan if I still had collectibles left by fall. And the online neighborhood garage sale postings on Facebook has been shut-down. I had planned on selling some furniture that way this spring. I need one of my book-boyfriends to come hold my hand while I re-calibrate my timelines.

In the meantime the painter I’d lined up to paint a ceiling is willing to social distance himself to do the work which would be against the governor’s mandate for non-essential workers, but he can’t get the paint. The lawn care guy can’t work on thinning some planting beds, let alone do the normal spring cleanup services---someone reported him for raking a yard which is crazy since lawn care people don't have to be near anyone. Ditto on having a service washing the siding and windows. Can you imagine the back-log of work these people will have, missing an entire month---now maybe two---of their contracts and services? I didn’t even bother to call the carpet cleaners to do their spring thing. My trash service did a robocall telling us all we can’t put out extra bags (yard waste) until further notice, nothing the workers have to pick up by hand. Oh, and did I mention my washing machine took the pandemic as a queue to go on strike? I spent a whole day singing, “You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucile,” a song that has nothing to do with washing machines since I don't name my appliances, but I had to sing something.

Then I got an e-mail from the continuum care campus where I’ve been planning to move. They were assuring us that the stock market volatility will not affect the building project in any way. “They are fully funded and solid.” Jeez, I hadn’t even thought about that! I’ve got $40,000 worth of deposits down on that place (held in escrow) and another $20,000 due in July so I should have been concerned. Nope, I've been sitting here worried about selling pocket watches and moonbeams. The CCC also said the Stay-at-Home orders for everyone but essential workers has halted the construction and will set the project back. Double Jeez! The construction company has applied to the state for an exemption since all their workers, at this point in time, are/were outside in heavy construction mode that doesn’t involve workers being up each other’s butts (my words, not theirs). They also had a lot of heavy stuff that needed moving in before the spring weight limits on the roads went in effect and the shut-down caused them to miss the deadline. The state has temporarily lifted those weight limits to allow truckers to haul heavier-than-normal loads of groceries but the CCC is on hold until they hear back from the state to see if they can be included in that exemption. What a complicated world we live in and that inter-connectivity was brought into full focus due to the pandemic.  

At least we can still go outside. I’ve started walking the dog again since the bad weather is behind us. But it’s going to be challenge this year because of all the new dogs in the neighborhood. Levi has a real bark-fest when he sees other dogs and the anti-bark ultrasonic device I recently bought to curb that bad habit is giving me mixed results. It has a long range and in the house I can be in the kitchen at my computer and he can be two rooms over in the library barking and when I use it he stops barking and comes running to me. Sometimes he’s shaking his head like he doesn’t understand what’s wrong, making me feel guilty that it might be hurting him too much. But outside on our walks it’s like he doesn’t even hear the short blasts that work in the house---and he’s only the length of his retractable leash away. It takes several long blasts before he stops barking. I keep that device in my pocket and just put my hand in there to use it. He’s never even seen it but Levi seems to know it’s in my pocket and the source of his problems. Inside and outside he’ll come nudge the device my pocket, looking up at me with a confused look on his face. How does he know? It's downright spooky!

And does he also know how often I've been lusting for windmill cookies and milk since the pandemic hit our state? They're a 'dad and childhood' comfort food for me just like mandarin orange candy slices are a 'mom and childhood' comfort food. What would we do without our comfort foods? Or am I the only one.... ©

38 comments:

  1. Clearly, you're living under much tighter restrictions than we are. Home repair companies are listed as 'essential' under federal guidelines, which ours mimic. In the same way, stores like Home Depot and Sherwin Williams -- home repair related -- still are open. The lawn care crews are still in business, since outdoor related activities are allowable. People are being asked to bag all trash, of course, but that's not so different. As for construction -- home and commercial construction is continuing here. At least, home construction is. I don't know about commercial, but I suspect it's ok, since construction is construction. Our road construction isn't stopping, that's for sure.

    I hope your usual people still are in business when this is over. Here, there already are some restaurants that have closed their doors, and some say it's forever. A month without any income might as well be forever.

    As for that stock market -- that was the first thing that I worried about, because it had the most effect on my life. I lost some jobs because people were watching the Dow plunge, and deciding that discretionary spending on their boat wasn't in the cards. Some of it may come back, eventually, but it was nerve-wracking as could be for a time. Taking a couple thousand out of potential accounts receivable's no fun.

    As for those windmill cookies, they're on my list of comfort foods, too. Can you get them? If not, I have a suggestion. The Jaarsma Bakery in Pella, Iowa will ship them to you! I've ordered from them before, and they pack well, so you don't get a box of crumbs. And they're homemade! What could be better?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We're not supposed to go anywhere except for food, medicine or medical needs and outside to walk. No gatherings of any size, no one at your house if they don't live there.

      There was a segment on our local news a day or two go about the home builders association asking the governor to clarify what they can and can't do because the police were making home construction workers stop and giving out tickets. The letter they got back says they can button things up against the weather---roofing, siding and windows---but then they have to stop. The association guy told all the builders to carry a copy of that letter in their pockets to show the police if challenged. I don't know why people report someone working outside in construction like that. They don't have to work close at all. Gives me the chills because it reminded me when neighbors were ratting out Jewish people in their neighborhoods during the war.

      I'm hoping the lawn care people have some sort of association and will ask the governor for exemptions. I haven't seen a single one out doing anything. Tad bit early for cutting though mine was doing yard clean up before he reported. After all the trouble I had with last year's guy, I hired early and paid in full for the whole season so I hope he gets to do the work. I hired the guy who used to have the contract before my nephew took it over and did the job for 5-6 years. He's still does my snowplowing, so at least I know he's reliable.

      Trader Joe's also has windmill cookies. I just saw them on Amazon last night. I have two bags in the house and I really hate having that much temptation in the house but I hate even more not having any. I'll check out that bakery, I don't think I've ever had home baked ones. Thanks.

      Delete
  2. Glad your were reassured that building would still go on when allowed. That would have scared me with all you all ready have invested.
    We still allow yard workers here which is good for I really needed some heavy pruning done. If I don't get my lawnmower back soon, I will have to hire it mowed. Sure glad we can still do that for now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Timing is everything, isn't it. Hope your lawnmower comes back soon. One of the things I sent off to the auction house was my dog grooming tools and table arm, none of which I'd used in many years, preferring instead to pay someone else. Now I wish I had them back because the groomers are all closed.

      Delete
    2. P.S. Until I got that email it never occurred to me to worry about my payments at the CCC. Stupid, I know. I'm still not really worried about it, but I'll bet there are others who are asking for they're money back.

      Delete
  3. Our state--Ohio--has so many business deemed "essential" that it is a joke. Basically, only entertainments and cultural establishments, restaurants and bars, and hair/nail places are closed. Period. Furniture showrooms, car dealerships and service areas, even Joann stores are open. There is no enforcement. The governor himself said businesses are left to their own good judgment to decide if they are essential or not. Sigh.

    I share your awe at how animals know the strangest things. My female cat Marlowe is no fun to play with most of the time. I can't use that laser pointer for her to chase because she knows I am making it happen. She looks up at the gizmo in my hand and grabs my hand. She does the same thing with any toy on a wand.

    So I just give her a book and she reads in my bed. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! your state's policy on 'essential businesses' really is a joke! Here, Joann's only have curbside pick ups for those making masks and people who order online. Car service repairs are open but you can't get certain things done if they are routine.

      Amazed that your cat knows who is controlling the laser pointer. I've seen lots of cats on the web chase those lights and never saw one figure out where they are coming from.

      Delete
  4. I’m still ok with my comfort foods (chocolate and biscuits), I know what will happen if I overdo it, so I keep back. All the same, I am being kind to myself. We have to have compensation for the otherwise quite difficult times we live in. I hope you won’t have to wait too long until you can continue with your sales and preparations for moving house.

    Everything here is shut, I can’t even make use of the gradually improving gardening weather because plant nurseries are closed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need to start taking my food/calorie intake. It's so easy to make excuses in these stressful times.

      It's a little early for gardening plants to be in stock but I've been worried about them being available. The grocery store where I normally shop has a large gardening section but the plants have to be shipped in from down south so who knows it that will happen. Can't even do exchanges of plants we've thinned because there is no way to let others know we have them.

      Delete
  5. Mary Lou just turned 72 yesterday and we had a cake for her. Our daughter Nicole and her family cam to the door and sang her Happy Birthday and gave her her gifts, Mary Lou inside the house and they outside. It was so weird. I hope that you are keeping safe Jean. I pray that soon things will get back to normal if there is a real normal. Keep safe my friend.

    Cruisin Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a birthday your family will always remember. Very sad and sweet at the same time that you family did that for her.

      I'm staying safe, you do the same!

      Delete
  6. Crazy times for sure. Like you, I have had this build & move timed out and would never have expected a pandemic (of all things) to slow our plans. But our new condo is enclosed, so it's just sitting where it was when the shutdown started.

    Our dog needed a vet visit last week, and we had to call when we got to the parking lot, they took him in, then brought him back out and chatted briefly re: the visit, then went back inside and we had to call them with a credit card to pay.

    The essential/nonessential rules seem odd. Our dog vomited on the rug (yes, he'e been a joy lately) and we wanted it cleaned pronto. The first place we booked called back to cancel, but the second one said they were essential and showed up. Same task. Who knows? I did get an email from Sherwin Williams that they're doing online orders and curbside pickup if you know what color your painter needs?

    I plan to start working on my yard when it warms up a bit later in the week and I can't imagine anyone calling me out on it. Sheesh. I don't think we're meant to be Bubble Boys...just keep safe distance. And try to keep from going nuts. Favorite comfort foods are essential. :-) My last Costco run was basically snack food and a few fruits and veggies. I did love windmill cookies in my youth and haven't had one in years. They're really yummy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My vet has similar protocol only they call you on the phone when the dog is inside to discuss what's going on...no talking at the car.

      I saw a carpet cleaning ad on TV that was clearly filmed after the shut-down. I think the rules of what is an essential business or not must be ambiguous.

      I'll have to ask my painter if he'd use Sherwin Williams. He has an wholesale account at another place.

      It think my lawn care guy was probably using his truck with his company name on it when he got reported. I can't imagine anyone reporting a home owner. Like the police don't have enough to do but to hassle a lawn care guy.

      I like Lotus Biscoff, same basic recipe as windmill cookies only better and not the same shape. I doubt there are many of who grew up in West Michigan who didn't literally cut out teeth on Windmills.

      Delete
    2. I think we got the parking lot discussion because the vet is DH's nephew. :-)

      Delete
  7. I am shocked by how many people are NOT following the "flatten the curve" guidelines. I see people arrive to visit neighbors. I see neighbors going to other neighbors for cocktails and dinner and what not. I see neighbors walking together who do not share the same household and are not 6 ft apart. I was sitting outside in the sunshine yesterday, keeping an eye on the outdoor boys, when my upstairs neighbor's girlfriend came over ... she started to come onto my patio so I sang out "6 ft away please". She shook her head and went upstairs.

    The kids went to Costco yesterday (gloves and masks) ... a perfect time with very few people and paper towels and Lysol wipes were just being shelved! They really got us stocked up on things we use.

    Now .... to get this homeschooling thing working better ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, I can't believe what you're seeing. Are they crazy? You had ever right to sing out '6 feet away please.'

      Glad you guys got stocked up.

      Delete
  8. We also have select inforement and i am not sure how many of these businesses can be considered essential. It's also amazing how many parents say on next door "im gonna let my kid be a kid and go where they want".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crazy! I hope they don't pay the price for their carelessness.

      Delete
  9. I've been concerned about all the people who do our outdoor spring maintenance, too. They're all local companies that will be swamped eventually, but can they hold out for a month with no income? I suppose I'll find out, but in the meantime our property looks scraggy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I paid my guy for the full season just to make sure when they are able to work, I wouldn't get closed out by someone willing to pay more. I've paid so much over the years to have a good looking yard that I would hate to let it go so close to wanting to list the house.

      Delete
  10. Things have changed, restrictions are tight, fines are high and life goes just differently and I am thankful for modern technology

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too! I can't imagine doing this without contact with the outside world via our devices.

      Delete
  11. Windmill cookies? Sounds like you are talking about Dutch speculaas! These were a staple in my house growing up. When my Oma was looking after us she used to make us speculaas sandwiches by placing the cookies between sliced of white, heavily buttered bread. And now you can buy speculaas butter (like Nutella, but made from these cookies) to spread on bread and toast. I’ve seen it at our grocery store! My Oma was ahead of her time💕

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, they are one and in the same recipe without the windmill mold. I can't believe your Oma made cookie sandwiches!!! I need to try that. I have seen that speculaas butter in the store but haven't tried it. Where I live it was heavily populated with Dutch settlers and a lot of Dutch traditions are in our DNA.

      Delete
  12. Lockdown in New Zealand is big time...hardly any "other stores" open, or if they are doing business, only on-line and contactless delivery. How I would manage trying to get a fridge or washer from porch to their respective rooms is beyond me. I had a box of readymade meals delivered, he did put them at the top of steps - but then the box was about 2metre from front door, and I talked to him, through my front windows...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our businesses have bee getting creative with the porch delivers and curbside pick ups too.

      I lucked up fixing my washing machine. A friend of mine has a son who repairs them and he came over...staying the required 6 foot away. A simple fix as it turned out.

      Delete
  13. Worrying times, especially for people like my partner who runs his own business. Things have ground to a halt. I hope everything works out well for you eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh Jean, what a mess. I know what you mean about workers -- I need one to work inside and yet no one but Rick is coming inside for a long time. That doesn't include the garden. I did some raking but the real clean-up is done by my garden warrior. Maybe not this year. I'm sure it will be good for me. Or not. But I'm sorry about the auctions and all that too. Maybe the delay in the building will end up being not so bad in terms of giving you a little more time. I hope so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, as long as I can't be ready to move under the current situation I'm kind of glad the building has been delayed right along with me.

      Delete
  15. Jean, I love your comment "but I had to sing something," which seems to me a good way to get through many of life's trials and tribulations. I've decided not to feel guilty about not getting to my friend's house to start getting it ready to go on the market (the city her house is in has a shelter-in-place order in effect) since this is going to be a lousy year to put a house on the market. Although I won't enjoy having to keep that house maintained through another winter, it probably makes sense not to rush into selling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, at some point we have to realize that we have no other choice but to accept what is not in our control and roll the punches. I'm hoping the market for buying/selling houses will be up next year for both of us.

      Delete
  16. I had an errand to run on the first and was just gobsmacked to see the parking lot at Safeway completely full as though it was rodeo weekend. No distancing, no masks, no gloves. Like ants at a picnic. Ditto the Town Pump.
    I was reading a blog I like, The Field Lab and thought of you. He is crazy for clocks and watches, working or not and I wondered if you had any on your sell list. He is in Terlingua, Tx, one of the most remote areas in Texas.
    Glad you were able to get your washing machine repaired with little fuss.
    I don't think I have ever had windmill cookies but now I wish I had some.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People here seem to be in taking the stay-at-home order seriously.

      Yup, I've got pocket watches I'll be selling later this summer. If he's an e-Bay shopper he'll find them when I put them up.

      I did get my washing machine fixed. It stressed me for an entire day but it turned out to be an easy fix of resetting its computer board through the magic of cutting the electricity off.

      Delete
  17. Yes, Comfort Foods during a Time of Pandemic are a Staple. I fail to see how they consider Liquor Stores Essential Businesses and yet forbid so many other Businesses to be performing necessary Services that wouldn't even require the Employee to be close to anyone? We got the Garbage pickup Notice too, I've never seen our Garbage Truck Driver EVER get out of his vehicle and the Truck is so High that he's Six Feet ABOVE anyone Below! *LOL* I Pray your CCC Plans come to fruition even if a bit later than anticipated... mebbe that delay will give you more Time to Downsize too? I'm Guardedly Optimistic at this Point in the Pandemic... yet The Young Prince Genius Grandchild called me Today from Washington State. He's been Studying the Virus with other Mensa IQ People he keeps in touch with, he gave me sobering Opinion that everyone will eventually get this {I kinda knew that already even tho' I'm not a Genius}... and that his Fear is that it will take out all the Old People and without Elders, and because he was Raised by us, that Terrifies him more than getting the Virus. He said so much Wisdom will be Lost Gramma if all of you Die prematurely... and he felt the projections are unrealistically low for how many will succumb. It was difficult to find the right Words of Comfort, because I know he's Right... and this ain't lookin' Good... my Hope is they find a Vaccine that MIGHT give us some Immunity and Antibodies to fight it more effectively should we become Infected so that at least it won't always be Fatal? We'll have to wait and see...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder it the liquor stores staying open has to do with worrying about domestic violence rising if certain people can't get it. They are doing brisk sales. I cant' wait to see what we're all going to look like without haircuts all summer. I sent all my dog groom tools and an arm to keep hm on the table to the local auction house. I wish I had it back. My dog is going to suffer if he can't get his hair cut in the heat of summer. To me dog groomers should be essential before liquor stores.

      Bill Gates was on late night TV talking about how he's gifted a ton of money to researchers long before the pandemic came to our shores and eight of them are close to finding a vaccine and he's building all eight of them factories to product them, knowing only one of those factories will eventually pan out to be the best vaccine. He said his foundation and work faster than our federal government and he's made me really have hope. But it is going to be a couple of years of being super careful before we can breathe easy.

      Delete
    2. I watched Bill Gates' interviews too, I Wish he were President! His Foundation has been working tirelessly for a very long time doing Philanthropic Worldwide Problem Solving in Health, Education, you name it, he's Serious about Solving it! I don't know about the Liquor Store thing, what bothers me more is DRUNK abusive people doing more damage and violence while everyone is locked down with them. The DV Bureau at our DA's Office, which is one of the largest in the Nation, already had so many Cases... I just fear it will be all the worse during this time and Loved Ones cannot Escape anywhere or have it Exposed as easily if they're stuck behind Closed Doors and not going to School, Church, Public as often for Eyes to see the Signs of the Abuse?! It worries me, not everyone's Home is their Safe Haven.

      Delete
    3. Our local TV station this week did a story on the increase of child and spousal abuse the stay-at-home order has caused. Children not having anyone to report it to like a teacher or bus driver, they fear is a real problem.

      Bill Gates is a true hero, the way he spends his money for the greater good of the world is so much different than the Trump family, not to mention he's smart!

      Delete

Thanks for taking the time to comment. If you are using ANONYMOUS please identify yourself by your first name as you might not be the only one. Comments containing links from spammers will not be published. All comments are moderated which means I might not see yours right away to publish through for public viewing as I don't sit at my computer 24/7.