Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, June 4, 2022

The ‘Oh so Fine’ People on Parade

Our fine dining restaurant is only open from 5:00 to 7:00 three days a week and for Sunday brunches. But during the afternoon it’s occasionally filled with outside groups that book the place for their meetings. One day I happened to be sitting in a place where I was able to see a group of women as they left the restaurant to go on a tour of our complex. And may I say they were oh so 'refined’ and could have graced the pages of Advanced Style Magazine. Most of these women were wearing Kentucky Derby style hats (in Michigan, oh my!) and two had tailored silk suits dyed to match or more likely the hats were dyed to match their colorful suits---raspberry and cerulean blue. Some of them carried purses big enough to double as pet carriers and shamefully expensive I have no doubt. I felt like a gray church mouse in my outfit that came from a big box store so long ago that I can’t count the years on my fingers. (I really do need a closet make-over.) They were members of a woman’s guild that raises money for the local hospitals, presumably by strong-arming other rich people at the black tie events around town.

Back in the ‘90s my husband and I used to go to an annual fundraiser that was sponsored by the Catholic churches. It was called, “Soup’s On.” It was held at our local museum and the $50 a ticket price included a ceramic bowl we’d decorate ourselves and pick up later after it was fired. The fancy restaurants in town would make their signature drinks plus soups, breads and desserts and we hobnobbed in our best outfits---the exact, same outfits year after year since neither one of us was into fashion. It was super fun to go to and one year we got to talk to an internationally known but local artist, Paul Collins. I admire him but Don was his groupie every bit as devoted to knowing the details of his life and work as Taylor Swift groupies are about her. The event raised money for our local food pantries and a mission that feeds street people---the latter being Don’s favorite charity. I still give the mission a Christmas donation in his name. 

Another do-gooder organization meets at our restaurant from time to time. And their thing seems to be wearing silky scarves. I’ve seen them come and go several times, most of them are wearing dresses with colorful scarves artfully twisted and knotted around their necks and sky-high heels. They are younger than the women from the guild, probably still in the work force judging by the fact that they mostly meet in the evenings. and I'm guessing the scarves are their take-their-office-wear-to-night accessories. Their membership is $1,000 a year and they recently put on a dinner to support women entrepreneurs. For $100 a plate you got a meal and a chance to win a Prada purse. A couple of the women who live here went and came home miffed because the grand prize Prada purse was a supposedly an out-of-date style. I’d be embarrassed if I knew the Prada line well enough to identify an older style from a new one. But I can do that with Crocs and I’ll bet there’s someone out there who thinks being a Crocs aficionado is---well---a bunch of crocks. No sass or pun intended, I assure you. I own ten pair of Crocs and four are special editions. 

Our restaurant has also hosted a men’s choir as well, and one of its members lives here. That was a fun group to sit on the sidelines and observe (and hear) which by the way is easy to do because our restaurant and the cafe’ share the same lobby and neither one has doors. We’ve had tour buses full of people booked for lunches too, but they are part of the marketing strategy for keeping both this and our sister campus full of residents. I've been on tours like that to other CCCs and I'd wondered how the residents felt about it...and now I know. Weird, it feels weird being one of the 'happy residents' on display! We have a long waiting list, I’m told, for our lakeside apartments here so those who live in one better hope the CCC doesn’t employ a hit-man to keep a turnover of newbies buying into the complex. 

Last week our marking director stopped by a table where a bunch of us were having lunch and she mentioned she has people on a waiting list to buy one of our twelve town houses on the other side of the lake. I couldn't help it when I joked, "And soon our CEO will hire a hit-man and the wait list will vanish." She opened her mouth, speechless at first while everyone else laughed. Then I added that I read too many murder mysteries which isn’t true at all---not my favorite genre---but it made her recover her tongue. Gallows humor is not uncommon here. Have I mentioned lately that I have fun on my new digs? ©

34 comments:

  1. I've never thought about what it must feel like when tour groups come through the ccc to check it out. Since it's your home, it probably does feel a bit invasive. And those big hats and silk suits, oh my. Now that I'm older, I got rid of all that stuff except for several outfits for funerals or weddings. Thank goodness for comfy clothes and shoes! I don't even own a pair of heels anymore and I do not miss them.

    Your hit-man theory to increase sales at the ccc might make a good book. It would have been fun to see the marketing director's face. Gotta keep them on their toes, and you're doing that, Jean! Have fun...life is short and the waiting list is long.

    I

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    1. I wish those two women in the silk suits would come back because I'm now wondering it they were twins. Their suits were identical and I can't believe they were off the rack.

      I can't believe there will ever be a day when younger women give up their high heels. They are so ingrained in our culture as sexy and women will endure the pain to have slimmer looking legs. I never had to wear them for work and because of feet issues since birth my period of wearing them for pleasure was short lived. Glad you don't miss yours.

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  2. All I can say is I’m so glad I live in my own home..not surrounded by uppity, as my Mom would say, people. Not my cup of tea…but I realize, to each his own

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    1. I think it depends on how you define 'uppity people'. Just because people out dress me or you doesn't mean they can't be warm and friendly. So far the groups meeting here haven't acted uppity.

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  3. Gosh I never thought about how it must feel to be on display like that. Almost zoo-esque. I would be tempted to put on a bit of a show and do a sit down version of stand up--kind of like what you did:) Kudos.

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    1. Zoo-esque. I like that. LoL The marketing director once told us when a group is going through not to be afraid to come up to her or them and talk.

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  4. I get such a kick out of your observations! I'm so far removed from fashion, I wouldn't know a prada from a paper bag. I've never worn crocs either, but it's fun knowing you're the resident Croc Queen! You rock!

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    1. I couldn't tell a Prada from a paper bag either and would be afraid someone would hurt me trying to steal it if I carried one. Croc's are under $50 on sale. I don't wear them as often as I'd like because my foot doctor doesn't ever want me wearing them. And I only wear them around here because I'm afraid to drive in all but on pair of them. Not the safest footwear in the world.

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  5. Great post! I always wondered how that soup fund raiser was. I've been tempted over the years but never attended. Sounds like great fun.

    Crocs are big in the UK. My DD and her family have multiples. I wear the ones with multi-color donuts on them when I go out to hang clothes. :-) As for high heels, I'm paying the price now at my age, I guess. I was never a fan of high, high heels, but narrow pointy toes were no friends to me either. Now it's comfort shoes all the way. At least they're making them in cuter styles now. And with all of us aging, they're more common than they used to be!

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    1. I don't know if Soup's On is the same now as back when we were going but they'd have special stuff going on in different parts of the museum---meet-and-greets with people like Paul and small stage musical groups. That outer area by the carousel was where the food was set up. You'd get tickets to spend where ever you wanted. The wait staff was all in black tie. A very upscale evening that we attending for a lot of years.

      Have you ever noticed the pointy-toe shoes our Vice President wears? I don't know why she things they look good? They look uncomfortable and out of style. I guess they aren't because she seems to have a lot of them.

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  6. I no longer have dressy clothes or shoes. I actually rented a dress for a big fancy wedding three years ago. It's all about comfort now. If I put on a bit of makeup my roommates ask where I'm going! I love Crocs too but nearly killed myself when they would grip the sidewalk and I wasn't prepared!

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    1. Crocs are not the safest shoes to wear especially around escalators and for driving.

      Renting a dress was brilliant idea and one I never would have thought of.

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    2. I have noticed Kamala's shoes and thought how uncomfortable they must be. She's just as well known for her wearing of Converse sneakers, so she's not anti-comfort. They are still in style - although I can't for the life of me figure out why! I bet Angela doesn't wear heels.

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  7. Prada? Well, Texas has Prada! Have you ever seen this establishment? It's actually art turned tourist destination, but it's hilarious. Social commentary with a bit of an edge but no snark -- what's not to like?

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    1. That's quite funny, isn't it---bottomless purses and right shoes only and a store that melts. I've heard of an actually store of expensive shoe where they only stock right or left shoes with the other in the pair stored off sight.

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  8. Well, I hope I am not alone in seeing a short murder mystery story in the making here! "Come Live (and Die) at the Lake" by Jean.😄

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  9. Been a long time since I had a reason to get dressed up also no need for a fancy bag now days

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    1. I've never been into having a lot of purses. But I have always loved having a lot of canvas bags that a purse, a book and a handicraft would fit into.

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  10. You have a particular type of humor. I get it. Don't let the ones who don't get it get to you. Our looks, hour humor and our brains came preinstalled.

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  11. You are far nicer than I would be with the tour people! I'd probably come out with my hair in its Rosanne Rosanna Dana state wearing a mumu (moomoo?) and barefeet and wandering about singing show tunes aimlessly, just for sport. Because you've gotta liven it up a little! Love the hit man line. I'd say that, too!

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  12. Happy Residents on Display, oh, how you could have such Fun with that Jean! *winks* With COVID still a Thing I'm surprised they have so many Outsiders welcome to come in and do Meetings in your Common Areas, I wonder how that Screening process goes to keep you all safest? Those that live for buying the overpriced Bags know everything there is to know about them and personally I find many of the Bags to be hideous and tacky looking instead of classy, like a Bag of that price point should be. When we went to the upscale Mall the other day the Velvet Roped Line to get in to Prada was just ridiculous... and amusing... quite the Human Sideshow on Display there. *Smiles*

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    1. Covid numbers in MI have been low and things have opened up again for the last couple of months. Knock on wood. We have a sign in station at all our doors where visitor have take their temperatures taken, and fill out a questionnaire and leave contact information for contact tracing purposes plus clean their hands. Then a machine prints out their visitors' pass. Much safer here than going to the mall or grocery store.

      The Prada's I've seen I wouldn't want to carry. Fake status symbols is all they are. That rope line to get in to Prada's store is sickening.

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    2. Glad to hear they have good protocol for the Visitors, sounds like they are taking safety of residents seriously. I wouldn't carry any of the Designer Bags either, don't think any of them look classy and a fake status symbol is a good description, all Branding and no content.

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  13. I never understood the allure of designer bags. I have a friend who had thirty Coach purses and ended up giving them away to charity when she retired. I couldn’t roll my eyes back far enough.

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    1. I get collecting old things---the thrill of the hunt and the learning experience---but I don't get collecting brand-new designer purses that could get you mugged. It's like advertising your wealth to carry one around and it would make me feel bad to know a family could eat a long time off what I spent on a purse.

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  14. I gave away most of my good clothes. I just saved something in case I have to go to a funeral.

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    1. Our work life changes and so does our need of good clothing.

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  15. My parents lived happily in a retirement community in California called Oakmont. But the residents wags called it "Croakmont!"

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    1. LoL I may borrow that one. My folks spent time in a Florida one winter and called the retirement village where they were at Siren City. Gotta have a sense of humor as we age.

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  16. The things you observe and tell us. You do seem to be having a good time in your new digs. I wouldn't know a Prada purse if I stumbled over it, but I'm very clear about Crocs.

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    1. Crocs can make you stumble. Literally. Not good footwear for older people. I do have fun living in my head. I always have.

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