Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, Great Books and Family Parties

Book Club: We read The Death and Life of the Great Lakes by Dan Egan and all twelve of us were all on the same page in our opinions of this well-written and well-researched non-fiction book about the largest mass of freshwater on the planet. (20% of the fresh water in the world is in these five, giant lakes.) The history, science and threats to the water’s safety and sustainability reads like a novel and at the end suggests what we need to do to protect the Great Lakes and the 40 million people who depend on them for our water supplies. Each invasive species is explained in detail--how they got here, what damage they are doing and how species like the quagga mussels have spread across the country on the bottoms of boats. They are a serious problem to the pipelines that bring water to our cities’ taps. The book made me want to go out and buy a  bunch of bottled water because a water crisis in a major city is just a matter of time and then our water processing plants will all fall like lines of dominoes, if we don't take action soon. And that is just one of several complex problems facing the Great Lakes.

Oh, in case you’re wondering, the woman who rattled me to the point I couldn’t express myself the last time our book club met didn’t come back and we were back to our harmonious selves.

The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile: It was in our town last weekend. I know this because one of the my neighbor’s here at the CCC left a message on my phone while I was at my niece’s cottage saying she and a couple of other women where going downtown to see it and did I want to go along. The next day I saw her and explained that I didn’t get her message until late and I thanked her for the invitation. She said, “I was trying to think of who would be up for a spur of the moment adventure and I knew you would be.” Boy, does she have me pegged wrong. I’m not usual ready to just pick up and go because I have a bad habit of not doing a shower or sponge bath first thing in the morning...I wait until a couple of hours before I’m supposed to be some place. But when I thought about her experiences with inviting me to a half dozen places like the movie theater, a impromptu party or out for ice cream I just happened to have been dressed for the day. She’s very social and she's the reason I keep a wine bottle, a cheese ball and crackers on standby. Not long ago she invited 15 nuns to dinner to help her use up her food allowance rather than loss it at the end of the month. She’s one of “The Catholic Kids” who goes to church every day of the week and, boy, was it delightfully weird watching ladies in brown habits go by my window. I almost wished I'd had dinner reservations that night so I could eavesdrop on their conversations.

I missed Oscar because I was at a birthday party for a great-great niece, a five year old whose widowed mom is moving out of state soon. My brother was there and the child’s other set of great-great grandparents. The great-great grandmother asked me if I remembered the first time we met many decades ago. I didn’t. So she told me at a similar family party she walked up to me and said, “Hi Aunt Jean! I’ve been wanting to met you.” And apparently I didn’t waste any time telling her I wasn’t HER aunt Jean and I walked away. I thought I'd learned a few manners since then but when her husband started calling me "Aunt Jean" at this week's party I couldn't help myself from asking, "What did you just call me?" What can I say, I treasure my 'aunt' title and I don't want someone nearly a decade older than me wearing it out.

At 80 I was the youngest of the older generation there and we sat under a sun tent at the water’s edge, pampered by my nephew who ran up and down the hill to get us drinks, helped us in and out of beach chairs and he brought me a pillow for my back while his wife and daughter fixed us all plates of food like they'd just done for the children. That hadn't happened to me before, and it felt like I'd officially graduated into The Golden Years and I wasn't sure I if I liked it, or not. In the past I would have mingled more with the generation below me. But hasn’t it always been that way, where the oldest generation are grouped together by choice or design? 

I remember being as young as the seven kids at the party and seeing a line of elderly aunts in flowered print dresses, straw hats and clunky black shoes. I probably gave them the same weary eye and a wide berth the little kids at this party were giving me. But we all commented on how well my niece interacted with the youngest generation. At one point she had them all playing Ring-Around-the-Rosie. 

The game is based on an English nursery rhyme that’s been around since the 1790s and a widely spread rumor claims its about the plague while scholars dispute that. Wikipedia says, “English versions have given would-be origin finders the opportunity to say that the rhyme dates back to the Great Plague. A rosy rash, they allege, was a symptom of the plague, and posies of herbs were carried as protection and to ward off the smell of the disease. Sneezing or coughing was a final fatal symptom ‘and they’d all fall down’…The line ‘ashes, ashes’ in the colonial versions of the rhyme is claimed to refer to cremation of the  bodies.” 

The more things change the more they stay the same. Children still learn the games their mothers and grandmothers teach them. And conspiracy theories are still around and are believed above the careful research of scholars. ©

48 comments:

  1. I'm glad that woman who upset you didn't come back to the book club. That's depressing about the Great Lakes, out here in the Southwest it's about the drought, severe water shortages. Thanks for the information about Ring Around the Rosie.

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    1. Every part of the country---the world actually, has something and mostly we've done it to ourselves. because our abuses of Mother Nature are catching up with us.

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  2. Such a vivid and interesting description of the birthday party. I really felt like I was there with you.

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  3. Regarding Ring Around The Rosie...I worked at my daughter's small Montessori school and discovered that none of the kids knew how to jump rope. So at recess I taught all the kids how to do it. Had to go to the library to find jump rope rhymes. Ah, memories of childhood.

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    1. Other than on YouTube a decade back or so I haven't seen anyone jumping rope. Back then it was enjoying a revival with fancy jumping. I don't remember myself ever getting into jump roping much because I didn't spend much time in the summers in the city but I sure loved the monkey bars on the playground. I wonder if 'monkey bars' is even an acceptable term anymore more. I'll be you an impression on those kids you taught to jump.

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    2. I have but one grandchild. I didn't need to teach her to jump rope, but I did need to teach her to climb trees - about 30 years ago. Anymore, a large percentage of kids grow up in developments in which there are no large trees.

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    3. I had but one grandchild - now age 39. She didn't need me to teach her to jump rope, but I was the one who taught her to climb trees. She lived in a new development with no large trees!

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    4. Cop Car, That's very cool about you teaching a grandchild the joys of tree climbing.

      I grew up with a whole woods full of trees and the only time I climbed one was when a herd of cows got loose and we thought they were chasing us but looking back I think they were just curious. We were up in the tree a LONG time before they got bored and left.

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  4. Thanks for educating us on the importance of the Great Lakes to all of us. Maybe I'll suggest that book for our book club, too.

    I had my first instance of being grouped with the "old folks" at a family gathering when I was barely 60. I had previously been a healthy person who exercised vigorously but was hit by a group of autoimmune illnesses that had changed me almost overnight from a 3-mile-a-day jogger, a kayaker, a weight-lifting person and one who played the violin in a community symphony band to a woman who spent alternate hours in bed or visiting doctors, who needed a cane to walk, and was soon due for my first brain surgery. When I mustered the strength to attend a multigenerational birthday party for a great niece, I was put at the table with all the people a generation older than I was. We were apparently grouped by abilities and not age! I was nonplussed, but I always got along with people a generation older than I was, and I loved asking them questions and learning more about them.

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    1. Even though we may love and get along with people older than we are it's still a strange feeling to realize we've been pigeon-holed to sit with them at a party. At least it was for me! Made me laugh on the way home. They are my peers even if I wish my nephew and niece's generation was. What a lot of work it was for them, though, taking care of both ends of the family.

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  5. Hoorah for the woman who didn't come back to book club! May she continue to stay away. Interesting about the Great Lakes...I've lived near them most of my life and didn't know (or forgot) about how much of the world's fresh water resided there. I did know about the problems regarding invasive species though...zebra mussels and all that. In a few weeks, I'll be moving to a place where all my water comes from a well on the property and all the waste goes into a septic bed, like in my childhood. Not to take all that water for granted though - we (my daughter, son-in-law and me) are talking about installing rain barrels and maybe even a cistern (the district is encouraging this, with monetary incentives). Water is a precious resource that too many of us take for granted and squander.

    Deb

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    1. Those of us from the Great Lake States do tend to take water for granted. I'm not one of them. I don't even leave the water running when I'm brushing my teeth. A rain barrel is such an old school thing in my memory. I guess it makes sense that they'd be coming back in vogue in areas where you don't have piped in water.

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  6. How nice to spend the day at a family party! My sister and I always comment about how when we were kids, our great-aunts seemed SO old and now when we figure it out, they were younger than we are now! Yikes! It is amazing how quickly the years have flown by.

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    1. I know! Our lives do seem to fly by. I used to try to get my great-nieces and nephews to call me GREAT Aunt Jean but it didn't stick. LoL

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  7. You obviously have an important role in your family that you're invited to the gr-gr-niece's BD party. No wonder you guard your title. My Aunty Donna moved to our rural town & was soon addressed by many people of all ages as Aunty Donna. She reveled it. I just experienced the Golden Years treatment from my son & DIL while at an outdoor venue listening to live music. Like you, I wasn't sure if I liked it but then chose to gracefully acknowledge their kindness.

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    1. I gracefully acknowledged all the help I got at the party, too, but it really was a strange feeling to have someone fix a plate for me so I didn't have to get up. I'm going to another party this weekend and I'll see if it was one time thing or if I've truly be indoctrinated into the Gold Years Club.

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  8. I'll ditto 'Anonymous' comment. I could almost feel a light breeze blowing off the water as I read.
    Aging is full of little surprises. I had lunch with a step-sister at her Assisted Living facility and one of our table mates asked me when I moved in. I was hovering around 70 at the time, so it wasn't unreasonable for her to ask, but I still felt a small ripple of shock. I'll check for monkey bars the next playground I see. I suspect kids are still likened to little monkeys so that may be one title that has escaped PC jail!

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    1. I used to joke that I needed to carry a big purse when I visited elderly people in assisted living places so the staff wouldn't try to keep me from leaving. And oh how true that turned out to be. If anyone carries a purse here it's just large enough for a cell phone since we don't have any use for money.

      I just google 'monkey bars' and apparently the P.C. haven't made them change the name because they are advertised all over the place. I see baby monkeys also daily on Facebook. They are SO cute and human like and their mom's care for them with such affection like human mom's.

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  9. That sounds like such a lovely party, although I'm much too squeamish to have someone fill a plate for me. LOL. Glad the annoying woman skipped book club. I haven't read that book, but I probably should. As a sailor, my DH has been concerned about the things that come in on boats for a long time. It's frightening really. One day last month, I swear I could taste a difference in our water and he couldn't tell. It was back to normal two days later. Who knows? I don't know how they treat it when it comes into the system, so maybe they add chemicals and they tipped it a bit too much.

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    1. You'd better believe that water gets tested and treated when it comes in and sometimes they need more chemicals than others. If you ever get a change to go on the sewer processing system tour that my old senior hall does from time to time you won't believe how that is processed to return to Lake Michigan. From raw toilet sewer to water as clear as a bell. beofre they dump in our local river to make its way back out to the lake.

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  10. Thank goodness that irritable book club member chose not to return! Book lovers don't need the stress! And thanks for sharing your experience with your great niece's party. I can just see it... lived it myself a couple of times, though no one ever brought ME a plate of food! LOL

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    1. That's not to say she won't show up again. She's been there twice in the almost year we've been in existence. But I found out I'm not the only one who was glad she didn't come back. She let it slip when someone asked if the woman was there this time. Then she covered her mouth like she didn't mean to say, "Good."

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  11. Oh Jean, seeing that Oscar Mayer Weinermobile just made my day!! Brought back memories of when I was young, and going to Green Lake, in Minnesota, for the 4th of July. One year the Weinermobile came to the parade. I thought we were living the big life, for sure!

    I need to get that book--I'm in awe of the Great Lakes. The world needs to come together to preserve what we have. Anyone who poo poos the obvious, cannot be thinking.

    Reading about the "Catholic Kids" and the nuns coming to lunch reminded me of a time when my daughter was entering kindergarten. We were protestant, but there was a Catholic school in our neighborhood that was excellent in all respects. We wanted to try to get our daughter in. When we went in to be interviewed, the principal asked if I'd be interested in a teaching position with them. I had been working at the local college, but I accepted the offer, just to be closer to my daughter. I had Catholic friends, but had not rubbed shoulders with priests, nuns, etc. What an education I received. I know there must be good and bad people in every faith, but that group was absolutely lovely. They were so much fun--and so kind. They welcomed me (never cared that I was Protestant), and I think I was the benefactor of that whole experience. And my daughter did get a great start in her education and did well throughout her schooling. Isn't it interesting how we don't think we're biased, but most of us have some buried deep inside.

    I enjoyed reading about your birthday party. Glad you were able to go!

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    1. So glad I was able to trigger some good memories for you. That's what the blog community does at its finest, I think.

      And I'm surprised you're the only person who has mentioned the wienermobile. I thought it was a common thing back in our youth to see at events.

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  12. So glad your book club is now minus one. Now you can enjoy yourself. Interesting about the Great Lakes. Did not know their value for fresh water.
    That is something--especially now--that I am aware of and usually have more water on hand that for just one person. I fill my empty water jugs with tap water and keep them on hand to flush toilets should we lose power. Lived too long in Florida I guess with lengthy power outages. I have heard that water may become the new oil.

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    1. That doesn't mean she won't be back again, but i think I'll be more 'charitable' toward next time. Her wife played mahjong with us today and told us about all her health issues, and boy does she have them!

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  13. Oh man, would I have loved to go see the WienerMobile! That's the only hotdog I care to get close to. Getting a ride in that is on my Someday Wish List.

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    1. You can see where it's going to appear at: https://khcmobiletour.com/wienermobile Might be close to you at some point.

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  14. I remember the shock I felt years ago reading that Lake Erie was dying or dead. Fortunately, they revived it but I don't know what kind of shape it's in now.

    You're fortunate to have so many family still alive, however distant the relationship and whatever affectionate term they call you, and living close by.

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    1. The Lake Eric dying and what they did to help it recover is covered in this book. The amount of science used and the process of studies done over the years was mind boggling. We humans caused the problems with the lakes. We can't mess with Mother Nature and get away with it long term.

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  15. It's nice to be in a book group with compatible people.

    I'm not a spur-of-the-moment person. I think it's because I have a hard time dropping something I'd already planned or am in the middle of. I do appreciate people who are spontaneous and full of idea, though.

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    1. Me too! We were spur-of-the-moment people on vacations but the rest of our time was planned out. And I'm still a planner but I'm trying not to turn any invitations down to help build friendships.

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    2. An even more forthrightly morbid playground chant for your amusement - doctor doctor, will I die? Yes my child, so shall I.

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  16. Your curiosity and cheerfulness (at last on the blog. LOL) make me think of you as a ready for anything gal too! But I'm with you about needing a little personal grooming notice. LOL And putting all the older people together is just annoying. I don't like being typecast!

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    1. Typecast. That's funny. It was a hot, sunny day and they were taking care of all us old people so we didn't heat stroke on them...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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  17. I had shared a pix of The Man holding an Oscar Meyer Weiner Bank at the Antique Mall on my FB Page and had all kinds of hilarious comments on it from Friends and Family. My Fav was from my Brother, who teased his BIL by saying, "Wow, it's so big it needs Wheels, I'm impressed!" *LMAO* Glad the problematic snarky Woman bowed out of Book Club so it could remain harmonious.

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    1. I thought I'd get more comments on Oscar. Your brother's comment takes the cake. I once read a book about that had a character who drove one of those around and of course, he had sex inside it.

      The woman didn't bow out of the club, she just didn't come this month. But after learning about some of her health issues from her wife I've decided to try to be more "charitable" toward.

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  18. I've seen the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile and will admit it charmed me. Of course it was an accidental sighting as I drove by going elsewhere, but I was going to the grocery anyway that day so when I saw it earlier than I planned on shopping, I changed my plans on the spot. To see it. Why I need to tell you this, I'm not sure, but there you go.

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    1. Probably because it's a charming story of a spurs of a moment decision that most of us can relate to on one level or another?

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  19. I love it when the boys play or do things we did. I'm so glad you had a fun time and saw family. That's always a plus. Sorry about the weinermobile -- it would be fun to see it but probably not the be-all, end-all of life. That book sounds great.

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  20. Having googled "Oscar Meyer Wienermobile" I wonder that anyone could class visiting it as an "adventure"...dining with 15 nuns though, that'd be another story

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    1. I think the Oscar Meyer commercials from the era most of us were young is one of those iconic things that makes people feel like kids again. Just seeing it on the highway brings joy. Lots of people want to see inside it and at least one book I've read had characters who were plotting ways to have sex inside it.

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    2. Cute...well, maybe not the sex bit...

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