Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Andy Weir Books, Fall and Football

I should be hold up in my den writing as if I was monk on a mountain top because the eighth of September is coming up soon. That’s the day I have my carpal tunnel and trigger thumb operations on my dominate hand and it could be as long a two weeks when I won’t be able to type, or so I’ve been lead to believe from reading about the surgeries online. Two weeks translates to four posts I should have ready in my scheduler but I’ve only got two. My doctor says it will be sooner than two weeks so who are you going to believe? Mayo Clinic or my local bone guy? 

I just finished multi-task writing while listening to Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir. The Martian was his first book, a best seller that was made into a movie and I loved the movie as much as the book. His second book---Artemisis---doesn't have the science driven plot that his first one had and I haven’t read it. But this third book had me tuning in whenever I could. One night I fell asleep listening to it and it was still going in the morning and I had to back it up to a place where I remembered what was going on. It’s a wonder my brain didn’t bust open, filling it full of seven hours worth of back-to-back science. That’s when I learned how to use the sleep timer on my Kindle. Only had the thing for a decade.

I love Andy's way of creating protagonists with self-deprecating humor and this book delivered on that, especially when he teams up with an alien life form that looks like a German shepherd sized spider. The science goes so far over my head and if I had tired to read it rather than listen to the book I’d quit before the plot setup was finished, but it’s so well explained that I can pretend I almost get it. 

The synopsis for Project Hail Mary on Amazon reads: “Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it….a ‘propulsive’ thriller full of suspense, humor, and fantasizing science.” The alien is also on a mission to save his planet from the same enemy that is causing the sun to die.

I sometimes get a little too big for my britches and I think I’m making good use of my brain then I read a book like one of Andy’s and I realize that I have the brain power of a flea especially compared to the astrophysicists and math nerds that work for the space programs around the world. (Heck, I couldn't even keep up with the science at the local sewage treatment plant that turns our toilet wastes into safe drinking water when I toured the place. Or maybe it was the fact that I decided some things we're better off not knowing about.)

I know it’s fiction but the way Grace and Rocky (the alien) developed a language using math as a starting point really does sound doable. And if someone had told me I could fall in deep like for a spider-like creature I wouldn’t have believed it in a hundred years but here I am a fan of a creature who speaks in musical sound waves that a newly written-by-Grace computer program can translate it into English and vise versa. For such a smart “spider” he has a sweet innocents to him that made him adorable. I absolutely want to give you a spoiler on how this book ends but if I did there’d be a few wiser people out there in blogger land who’d admonish me for spreading the joy I felt at the surprising conclusion of the book.

Change of topic: I don’t want to say this too loudly but it feels like fall. The nights are getting cooler, the hydrangeas outside my window are changing color and the stores are full of back to school supplies and Christmas stuff next to the Halloween decor. In my old neighborhood by now I’d be hearing the marching band from the near-by high school practicing. In the house I lived in before that one I not only heard the marching band but I saw it in the street in front of my house. This will be the first year in my entire life when I won’t have a marching band to help usher in the changing of the season. 

People here are talking about football. I’ve never followed or liked the sport but I suppose it will be my new marker for the beginning of fall. They even fly college flags to support the University of Michigan or Michigan State. I won’t be able to ignore the game like I’ve done in the past---too many alumni here who follow it as if college football is the Pied Piper to happiness. And I suppose it is for those few hours when they can watch a game and relive their time on the field or at the parties around the bonfires afterward. I suspect our resident cheerleader who married (and later divorced) the college quarterback made her first baby at one of those bonfires. She’s my age and can still wear her old cheeerleader's uniform. She acquired two or three more husbands after her first and she could get another if now if she wanted to; she's one of those perky little things that men love and women envy. But she's a genuinely nice, compassionate person so her character breaks the shallow-headed cheerleader stereotype. 

I couldn't wear anything from my college days---not even my shoes. If I could wish my life away I’d wish to be thin and not the hard way by catching cancer. It’s my only real shame in life...that I’m not the weight I should be and haven't been for 50% of my life. No need to body shame me, I'm good at that DIY project all on my own.

We have one of those gas fireplaces out on our piazza. It’s about twelve feet long and covered in blue stones with glass walls all around it. All summer long it’s where we gathered after dinner a couple of nights a week. We still do but lately we’ve been turning the fireplace timer on…another sign of fall coming our way. I’m not ready. Are you? ©

* Meme is of Rocky's speech pattern when he asks questions.

47 comments:

  1. Oh goodness... I'm with you 110% on the body topic. I've given up on trying to change what doesn't want to change. Speaking of temperatures, our thermometer out on our deck hit triple digits for the first time ever today. Not good for people who like to breathe. I've had carpal tunnel surgery on both wrists as well as trigger digit release on probably 8 of my 10 fingers. Worth every moment of the pain/recovery. Don't overdo it and rush trying to heal. You'll get there... one day at a time. Thanks for being here... I so enjoy your posts! Hugs... Tehachap

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    1. Wow, that's encouraging! Thank you for sharing that. I've read the same advice on a medical site about not overdoing it and not to expect full function for a least a month.

      I finally got my four posts written and pre-scheduled so I'll have a two weeks rest of typing except I hope to do a few short, one-handed replies to comments.

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  2. My husband had that trigger finger surgery but it's been so long ago I've forgotten how long it took to heal but don't think it was very long. Wishing you a speedy bounce back as you're having carpal tunnel, too, you said. Be good to yourself as you recover. (Incidentally, I monitored a comment from you on my current blog, but then it was deleted -- wasn't sure if I somehow accidentally deleted it or you did. Sorry, if it was me.)

    Wish I could say it seems like fall coming here, but quite the opposite. We're hot and heavy into summer and record-setting high temperatures. Fall was always my favorite season in the Great Lakes area and the type clothes I wore for that season's weather.

    College football intruded into my life as my husband was a fan. I enjoyed some games but he really lived them like an armchair coach. One of his best lifelong friends was head cheerleader at Ohio State in their college days. That guy was well known in town as he never missed a game the rest of his life, especially when they played Mich. Your Mich. teams took on unique interest beyond the usual for my husband when a UM alumni young couple lived across the street for a few years here in Calif. -- they had a friendly rivalry. One year when UM won, my husband planted a white flag in our yard our neighbors got a kick out of seeing. Later, our family became connected to alumni and/or employees at both of those Mich. institutions through our son's marriage and where they live now.

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    1. I wondered what happened to my comment on your blog. I've accidentally marked comments as spam before and found them a month later. I felt bad but sometimes your fingers shake and those buttons to click are too close together.

      I've always been grateful that my husband wasn't into sports but I can see how much pleasure the people around here get talking about their teams. Like your neighbor getting a kick out of your husband's white flag. Friendly rivalry all over this campus.

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    2. My husband was into spectator sports until several years ago. I've been "blaming" his dementia for the change - and wish he could/would go back to watching sports. I think it would be so much better for him than obsessing over the political scene by reading stuff (over and over) on his phone.

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    3. Dementia can change a lot of things, can't it. I can see why you'd welcome an interest in fall football again.

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  3. Gosh Jean, I can hardly believe it's already time for your surgery. When you first started talking about it, it seemed like a long way off. I'll bet you'll be able to type sooner rather than later. I esteem Mayo Clinic, but I think your local bone doctor knows you well, and I'd bet on his prediction. It's so good to get lost in a good book. Years ago, I used to go to the library and check out stacks of books, and then I'd read all of them, and go right back to the library, again. For some reason, after we moved to our little home, I really struggled to get back into reading. My brain felt like it was on overload. Why is it that when you get to a certain age, it seems like you never know what's going on with yourself??

    It is definitely feeling and looking like fall. I took a walk yesterday and the corn fields looked to be about 2 weeks away from harvest. The ears of corn are heavy and hanging downward, and the stalks are yellowish brown. Sure signs. I know the news media talks about a poor corn crop, but that will not be the case in our area. Corn and soybeans both look to be record breakers, and I am grateful for that. The world needs to be fed and many depend on the crops grown in our country.

    Whenever I start to feel like fall is near, I get out a few fall decorations. I used to spend days decorating both outside and inside our farm house. This year, for our little home, it was enough to pull out just a few of my favorite things, collected or gifted over years past. I'm really glad I left most of my decorations at the farm, for our nephew and his family to use. More isn't always better in life. Hey, it took me about seven decades to learn that truth, but I'm getting there.

    Hoping for a successful surgery for you, Jean, and a very quick recovery.

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    1. Thank you. I think it will go well enough. Although eating in public for the first week or two might not go all that well.

      After my husband died I quit reading for a few years. Sometimes your brain need to regroup and concentrate of taking care of you. But little by little reading came back to me but I still don't read as much as I once did.

      Does your area grow soybeans for food or fuel? I was shocked to see a report about how much of our land is raising soybeans---evn corn--- to create fuel instead of food.

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    2. I had to ask my husband your question about soybean use. He said the majority of our area's soybeans are used for livestock feed. Now I want to study up on crops being used for fuel.

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    3. Soybeans production is actually an interesting thing to study. You can start here: https://www.michigansoybean.org/soy-uses.html Other states probably a have their own soybean organizations.

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  4. Healing Energies sent your way for a speedy recovery from your Surgeries Jean. I'll be MIA from The Land of Blog myself very likely, a LOT of heavy stuff going on that won't be Blogged about and is deeply Emotional, complex and difficult with no Solutions really. As for The Cheerleader, if she's plowed thru numerous Husbands, me thinks she's Surface enviable, but her Track Record is leaving Clues that not everything is as it seems or looks. Pretty Faces and well kept Bodies often camouflage a lot of what hides beneath the surface... and are a dime a dozen, Men may fall for the packaging, but if what is beneath the wrapping isn't satisfactory, a trail of failed relationships generally ensues. I know Women like that, they usually end up Alone and not always by Choice, always looking for the next Ex-Mister Right that goes all Wrong, mostly becoz they're nothing but Window Dressing and Arm Candy. Men who only want that are as Shallow too... so two superficial people end up together and tolerating one another, but it never looks like a happy ending.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear about the family challenges you've got coming up but I'm glad you're explaining ahead of time that you'll be missing in action in the blogs for awhile----although I'll believe it when I see it, knowing how it's your therapy. Hope all goes as well as it can with the least about of collateral damage.

      With the exception of the first husband which The Cheerleader divorced, the others all died. I've jokingly called her a Black Widow (to her face) but once you hear her history it's clear there was nothing sinister going on. She's a genuinely nice person who approaches life like the kindergarten teacher that she was for many years. She sees the good in everyone and everything so whenever I need a ray sunshine in my life I'll talk to her and she hangs around the public areas most of the time so she's not hard to find.

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  5. It does feel like fall, doesn't it? I'm OK with that. :-) We had a family wedding this weekend, and they got the last perfect day -- the next morning was gray and 65 degrees. But I'm sure we have more lovely weather ahead.

    So my Kindle has a timer? Had no idea. Will have to check that out! I hope your surgery goes well and you heal quickly.

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    1. What a lovely weekend for a wedding!

      Kindles and other devices have way more bells and whistles on them that most of us don't use.

      Me too on the surgery. I'll let people know in the comment sections coming up on my pre-scheduled posts.

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    1. It's a great book, especially if you're remotely interested in space travel with a little science thrown in. The friendship between Grace and Rocky built was so believable and special. It made me happy watching it develop.

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    2. It's a great book, especially if you're remotely interested in space travel with a little science thrown in. The friendship between Grace and Rocky built was so believable and special. It made me happy watching it develop.

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    3. Don't know where I came up with "Kay":( Must have thought I was responding to Kay at Musings.
      I so hope your surgery goes smoothly and the recovery is quick. Hopefully your bone doc is more accurate than Mayo Clinic.
      You managed to make me really interested in a lovable alien spider. Will give that one a look.


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    4. LoL Been there done that!

      My bone doctor has been known to be over optimistic so I'm going to split the difference.

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  7. I'm actually about to read it a second time to try and understand more of the science. I did also enjoy aretemis for what it's worth. I'd allow myself the longer recovery time when planning, with my experience. Can you ask the chef or someone to cut your food she said kiddingly. I adore football ..all sport...and rootfor Michigan state even though I didn't go there and my school was not a college school. Fall is here, meaning its90 instead of triple digits!

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    1. I plan to read The Hail Mary Project again too for the same reason. Thanks for the recommendation about Aretemis. Andy has kind of a unique writing style I should have guessed he can do other stuff that isn't so science based.

      I am planning to ask the chef to cut my meat starting on Friday. If I can't make that happen I'll do takeout here.

      I'm kind of amazed at how many women follow football.

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  8. Best wishes for a successful surgery and a quick, uneventful recovery. Bone surgery is no joke--I've had it twice, and my husband has had it three times. It really is something that requires patience and rest. The line between pushing yourself and setting yourself back is very thin.

    The nights are much cooler, which is very autumnal. If we could get this rainy front to shove off and see some sun, I'd feel a lot less crabby. It's cool, but it's so damned humid that I can't enjoy it or open any windows.

    My sons are excited about football, but I couldn't care less. I also don't understand people rooting for teams of colleges they never went to. I don't even cheer on my college's team.

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    1. I've had bone surgery six times: a crushed foot, both knees replaced, both shoulders and an arm/elbow surgery. I pretty much follow the rules the doctor sets for me.

      You have my sympathy having your family into football. I don't get the college devotion either. And it seems like we are rewarding guys for being aggressive, not as much as hockey players though. Fans of that same seem to love to see the gloves come off and fighting on the ice.

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  9. I do hope your surgery and recovery go great! I am so NOT into science fiction and can't even imagine falling for a spider that sings!! When does your writing group meet? Is that today (7th)? Nice way to meet more people and learn more about them. Sending positive thoughts to your medical team.

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    1. Yup, my surgery is at 8:00 and the writing group at 3:00. I should have a clear head by then because they told me it would take 3 hours to wake up. I do have my co-sponsor lined up in case I can't. We several people interested that I wish wasn't---one guy whose wife says she's never seen in write anything. Should be interesting.

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  10. Good luck with the surgery and healing. Please take care of yourself. ❤️

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  11. You spoil us with your replies, so if you find one handed typing burdensome (and I would), I seriously doubt anyone will mind.
    I laughed out loud when you mentioned the difficulties you might have with eating because my imagination kicked in and I envisioned you trying to do it with chopsticks!
    We're SUPPOSED to carry a bit of extra weight as we age to provide a cushion against the ailments which are sure to plague most of us, so cease and desist picking on yourself about extra weight. Most of us carry some.

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    1. You are too kind on the weight thing. But I COULD manage a serious illness and live on the fat of the land without looking like a Halloween ghoul. So there are advantages. LoL

      I used to work with a stroke survivor who typed for years one handed so I'm willing to try for a couple of weeks...just short stuff though. I bought some diet meal replacement drinks for my first week so I might be killing two birds with one stone.

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  12. Thanks for the book recommendation! I enjoyed The Martian (book and film) but haven’t read anything else from Andy Weir. Good luck with your upcoming surgery, Jean.

    Deb

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  13. My aunt used to say, "the golden years are tarnished!" It's like I am always waiting for the next thing that is going to go wrong with my old body!
    Best of luck with the surgery! Hope recover is quick and painless!
    I love Fall so I am happy to see the Fall changes starting. :)

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    1. Isn't that the truth about the tarnish gold years.

      I'm not a fan of fall but it's here and I just hope it's a long one.

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  14. I hope the surgery goes off without a hitch and recovery is swift and not too painful.

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  15. Wishing you a quick recovery from your surgery.

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    1. Very glad to hear you're home and surgery went well. Take good care of yourself, Jean! xo

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  16. Sending all good wishes your way. And yes, it's feeling like fall, even when the days are hot. The light is different, the nights are cooler, no matter how warm the day. I'm not ready either.

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  17. I'm ready for fall. I love this season, so after a hot and wet summer I'm all in about autumn. I cannot wear anything from my college days either. I wouldn't beat yourself up about that. I'd have to be really sick to be thin enough to do that-- not to mention I gave away those clothes decades ago.

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  18. Oh, gosh! I just saw that your surgery was yesterday, but the best part of being late to comment is that I also saw your comment that all went well, and you're back home. Have you thought about using voice-to-text? I'm not sure how it works, but I know that plenty of people use it. On the other hand, I'm sure it would take me longer to figure the system out than it would for my hand to heal, so there's that.

    It's still hot and humid here, but the shorter days and just slightly softer light are wonderful. I caught about two minutes' worth of a dry north breeze this afternoon. I considered it an appetizer.

    Be good to yourself, and don't push. We'll all be here when you finally can type with more than one finger.

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    1. I've been using voice to do texting for a long time so know the concept, figured I'd see if my computer has voice if I need it,

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  19. After reading the blog after this one, on poetry, I came back to this blog - “we follow it as if college football is the pied piper to happiness” is a fine line of poetry.

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    1. And I swear it's true of the people in this complex. Thanks, I've excited about learning more about poetry and the book you mentioned in your other comment will help when it gets here.

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  20. LOL, Having cancer did not make me any thinner -- although it did put me in a very pleasant alternate universe for a few weeks where, when I got on the scale at the doctor's office, they said things like, "Oh, you've gained two pounds; good for you!!" It didn't last; when I went in for my third chemo treatment and got on the scale, the nurse said drily, "Well, obviously, you're not having any problem with your appetite."

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  21. Getting caught up!!!! I love fall. And football. LOL

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    1. Yes, you are getting caught up...and fast. Loved following your vacation.

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