Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Hissy-Fits Do Work and the Power of Leg Warmers

After the third canceled appointment by the flooring company who needed to clean up a bunch of construction glue in my apartment, I decided I needed to take a page out of my neighbor’s book and have a hissy-fit at the main office. Only instead of me going to the CEO’s office and doing it in person I sent an email because, let’s face it, I write better than I talk on my feet. It said: “I'm getting impatient about getting my floor issue resolved. I was promised back when I made my final payment in September than the construction gunk would be off before I moved in October 5th. (It goes from one wall to another and wouldn't come off with Brad's power cleaner. It was better but still a mess.) I'd like to start inviting some friends over but the minute I do is when the floor company will want to me dissemble my living area so they can do whatever needs to be done….” and so on. I didn’t say that I knew from the maintenance man that the floor company got pulled off from looking at my floor and coming up with a plan because the CEO prioritized getting new flooring down in a couple of empty condos over my floor clean up project.

Two days later the maintenance man tracked me down while I was making loom hats with the charity crafters and the floor company wanted to come in two hours to clean it. “No way can I be ready in two hours!” I said. “I have to unload a book case, my painting supply chest and my media cabinet full of photograph albums, then move everything out of the living room and roll the area rug back.” “I could help you,” he replied. “I’d rather pack that stuff up myself,” I answered. He flashed me a wide smile and said, “I told them that’s what you’d say. How about tomorrow?” “That works for me.” So I held my breath while he went back to the CEO’s office to firm up that appointment, hoping it wouldn’t get put off again. It didn’t.

The flooring company sent out a giant, line backer type black guy with rag, a pot scrubber and a gallon of stuff that smelled like oranges. And he got down on his hands and knees and cleaned from wall to wall, the entire 15" x 20" living room. The glue came up but the cleaner left a residue. Then the guy gave me his personal cell number and said if the maintenance people here couldn’t come mop it the next day that he’d come back on his own time and do it for me so I didn’t have to have my apartment torn apart over the weekend. But I lucked out and the “Environmental Specialist” aka house cleaner guy came within an hour of me dumping my problem on the concierge's desk. The fast service probably had everything to do with my floor getting prioritized after my modified hissy-fit. Mr. Eye Candy Cleaner, by the way, says he likes working here because “I feel the love. I’ve never had that at a job before.” Nothing keeps a bunch of old ladies happy better than guy who wears tight shirts over a well toned body. Just sayin' but I'm glad I didn't say that to him, oh my! At least the filter in my brain is still working.

While all this was going on, I got a call from The Cheerleader who was sitting across the table from me while we were making loom hats for charity. She’s been asked to quarantine for five days, even thought she tested negative. She’d been exposed briefly to someone who has a full blown case of covid-19. Both of us wore our masks while we were making hats and we'd both been fully vaccinated and had our booster shots but this new variation is so contagious! I guess if the CDC thought the people The Cheerleader sat with the next day were in any danger they would have called me directly...still might if she develops symptoms. She just wanted me to know what was going on because rumors fly and she feels, and I agree, that it shouldn’t be a secret who gets quarantined and why.

New topic: It’s 15 degrees here in Michigan right now and I’m freezing my tush off. Actually, that’s not true. My butt rarely gets cold but my fingers, legs, toes, ears and face sure do. I wear silk long underwear and fingerless gloves in the house. I also wear leg warmers 24/7 and I have a habit of not remembering to take them off when I hop in the shower. Removing soaking wet leg warmers is not easy and it’s a good thing I have four pair because those suckers take a long time to dry. 

I thought when I moved to this place I wouldn’t struggle to stay warm in the winters like I did in my old house with all the windows. Sandwiched in between to two other apartments I thought there’d be no heat loss here but I didn’t count on this place having the heat registers at ceiling height. Didn’t science established centuries ago that heat rises? Who decided in a cold climate like Michigan that it was a good idea to put the heat sources up high? Bean counters, that’s who! If I was smart I’d keep one of those hats made for charity and wear it in the house, too, but a google search on how much body heat I’d save if I did that debunked what our mothers told us growing up. We don’t lose half our body heat through our heads. 

We must forgive our moms for spreading that falsehood, though, because they got it from an old Army field manual. I can, however, testify in a court if necessary that wearing leg warmers to bed is far superior to wearing socks. Socks tend to come off during the night or start pinching my toes or twist around enough that they wake me up. The short, 8” style leg warmers don’t. (The longer ones I wear if I'm going to be outside.) The only negative is you’d have to take a time machine back to the ‘80s to buy the shorties. Flashdance, Foot Loose and Jane Fonda had most of us all wearing leg warmers back then. Now, only the cool kids do and old ladies who never stopped wearing them. ©

29 comments:

  1. Sorry to read that you are feeling the cold! What about getting a space heater? Those oil-filled ones do a pretty good job and are safer than the ones with the exposed elements. I hope in the summers you won't be too hot. If the A/C is pumped through those same registers, and cold air sinks, you should be fine, right?

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    1. I rarely ever turned my AC on in my old house and it does come through the same registers here as the heat. I'm often cold in the summers too. I do have a space heater but my problem is an internal body temperature regulating thing so nothing much helps.

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  2. My feet are cold ALL the time during the winter. I've thought about getting some leg warmers. Will have to search for them now. Thanks!

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    1. They do help and not hard to find on line. The smaller ones I wear them under my pants but if I'm to be outside I'll wear them over my pants as well.

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  3. Glad you got your floor all cleaned up. Good for you, Jean! Sometimes a person has to speak up. And it never hurts to have a nice looking guy working for you. Oh my, I cannot believe your heat comes from the ceiling. I know from experience that you really have to crank up the heat in order to keep warm--and it can get mighty cold in Michigan. Plus, I don't know about you, but as I get older, I just feel the cold more than I used to. We've started wearing Darned Tough wool socks and they're great for keeping feet warm. The little house we just moved into has hot water heat. I like it so far. Fingers crossed that you stay healthy, Jean. Take care.

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    1. I 'think' my dad had hot water heat at the cottage and liked it. They didn't have natural gas available and knowing my mom she wouldn't have wanted fuel oil tanks.

      Wool socks are great but I keep accidentally shrinking them. I have some bean bag "socks" you neat up in the microwave that work really good but you can't walk in them.

      I really hated to be that person who complains but it was getting ridiculous to have to wait for that floor job.

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  4. I laughed when I read your comment about this heating registers being in the ceiling. My mom lived in an assisted living place and the registers were in the ceiling too. She was always cold and I would sit there and stare up at those register vents and wonder why they were in the ceiling because heat rises! Good to know that you were thinking the same thing and I'm not crazy. I wonder how that's cheaper to put in? Really, for comfort they should have installed in floor heating.

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    1. I think they are easier to put in because they don't have to plan them around doors and windows and instead they look for places where they can do straight runs to our individual mechanical rooms where we each have our own furnaces. I'm going on a tour today of all the behind-the-scenes places here today. I'll try to remember to ask that question.

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  5. I got curious about that business of losing head through our heads. If I don't wear a hat at work, I get really cold, no matter how much other clothing I'm wearing. I think I found an answer that both explains the feeling and debunks the old myth about losing half our heat through our heads. Behold:

    "The real reason we lose heat through our head is because most of the time when we're outside in the cold, we're clothed," says Richard Ingebretsen, MD, PhD, an adjunct instructor in the department of internal medicine at the University of Utah School of Medicine. "If you don't have a hat on, you lose heat through your head, just as you would lose heat through your legs if you were wearing shorts."

    That makes sense to me.

    I smiled when I spotted that photo from Flashdance, too. That's one of my favorite scenes from the movie; every now and then i have another look at the video clip.

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    1. Now that makes sense on the heat loss without a hat on and I didn't run into that source when I was looking. I have to wear a hat, too, if I'm outside for more than a few minutes between buildings here.

      There was some great arty-farty scenes in Flashdance that have become iconic.

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  6. No ceiling fan to push the heated air down to you?

    I don't think you had a hissy fit. I think you sent a reasonable email after a more than patient wait for them to fix their problem. I'm glad it's all done (and you had a pleasant view to boot).

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    1. Got a fan in the bedroom which came standard. Could have gotten one in the living room as an upgrade, but didn't. Could still get one but I rarely used the one in my old living room and passed on it, but I didn't factor in the fact that the registers are high up here.

      My floor issue was first thing you'd see coming in, so I'm glad its taken care of now. My neighbor did have a full-blown hissy-fit that included tears and yelling. She'd had a bad week with a couple of friends dying and the delay in fixing an issue in her apartment just caught up to her.

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  7. An addendum to: tight shirts over a well toned body. Tight shirts over a well toned body -- who cleans! I'd take it!

    It's been so cold I asked my doc if I had a problem -- I couldn't get my body temp above 96, even in a house a 73 degrees with three layers of socks and fingerless gloves inside. I'm ready to buy those handwarmer things you put in mittens. It's just bloody cold.

    I hope you stay well. This stuff is seriously ugly.

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    1. I have a handwarmer that is rechargeble but I like the ones that L.L.Bean sells better. Thanks for the reminder. I have a half a box of those around here some place! They help your whole body stay warm. Last winter I put them in the palm area of my fingerless gloves.

      We have a machine here at all the doors that will take our temperatures and I range from 94 to 96. I take it several times a day and have had it too low to register. My doctor says the medication that can help will give me menopause hot flashes so I passed on that idea.

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  8. So glad you got your point across about the floor. It's not MAJOR but annoying every day when you have to see it.

    I have a very narrow window of indoor temperature comfort ... 66 in the winter, 72 in the summer. All our bedrooms have baseboard heaters ... I worry about the curtains or stuffed animals being near them, so we each have a tiny room heater.

    I can't imagine having to put all those layers on ... and gloves ... to be inside my home!

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    1. I can't stand anything under 73 and I'm still really cold at 73. But I don't push the thermostat up higher because the heat bills would be too high. In the it has to get in the mid 80s before I'll be hot enough to turn on the AC. Not sure how that will be in this place because we don't have windows that open fully like in my old house...city regulations for apartment buildings. Don't trust us not to fall out the windows I guess.

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  9. I often feel cold in my home. The upstairs will feel warm while the downstairs is chilly. The heating bill has really gone up so I don't want to keep raising the thermostat. I wear sweatpants and sweatshirts a lot and I just get under the covers while I read upstairs.
    Sounds like you know what to do to keep yourself snug and warm.

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    1. I do. I know it's an internal thing so I can't see just turning up the thermostat when layering is the answer.

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  10. Dear Jean, thanks for the tip about the leg warmers. I've never used them, but now that my body's thermostat seems to be adjusting to aging, I'm thinking they would be a good investment. I'll try Amazon. (I order almost everything from there because of no longer driving and being able to get out and about to stores. Still, I always sort of castigate myself for contributing to the owner's billions and his space travels.)

    Your having to resort to a "hissy-fit" reminds me of that old adage, "The squeaky wheel gets the oil" or something like that! Peace.

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    1. I buy a lot of stuff on Amazon, too, but it doesn't really bother me that I'm helpping to make his owner rich. The company provides service that obviously many of us want and he's created lot of jobs for people.

      The squeaky wheel theory does work!

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  11. Glad to read your successful adaptation, integration and general agitating is still goin' on. Well, it's really just making justifiable demands to get the good service promised and for which you pay.

    I've been complaining about house heating systems ever since we moved west. Our houses in Ohio had been sensible with floor registers and I remember all too well the joy of coming inside from zero or below temperatures to stand over a register blowing up over my whole body. Once we moved to Arizona then Southern California we've been stuck with house registers close to the ceiling. I thought like you, heat rises, duh, builders! Plus houses out here don't usually have basements and may even just be built on a slab with a crawl space underneath so lots of air circulation. Might be okay in the summer, but winter? I haven't wanted ceiling fans here because I imagine an earthquake dislodging from the ceiling, the fan with spinning blades flying down to disconnect my body parts -- especially a fan in my bedroom that would be just above the foot of my bed.

    I keep my house temp at 72 degrees and turn it down to 68 at night for sleeping. Power outages like our recent 2 day one due to Santa Ana winds blowing down over 300 trees in our town, then a week later my power going out again, naturally over a weekend, as a consequence of the previous outage had me using fingertipless gloves when using my computer. Getting down to 40-50 degrees outside would have been a nice winter day in snow country, but my body is acclimated here now, and those temps inside by morning really felt cold. Thank heavens I had a few heavy duty outfits that ordinarily would have made me feel too warm to wear, wool socks and flannel sheet blankets.

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    1. I just did a quick google search on ceiling vs floor registers and there seems to be no consensus on which is best. In fact the answer varies depending on climate. Apartments, class rooms, hospital and small houses the big advantage seems to be freedom to put furniture anywhere and shorter duct runs that helps with heart reduction from furnace to registers. I did learn that I need to try using my ceiling fan to push the warm air down. Now I have to go looking for the dumb remote and directions. I would share your fear of ceiling fans if I was in an earthquake zone.

      After our last long power outrage I bought a solar phone charger and keep it in the windowsill because I couldn't charge it in the car because I couldn't get the door open without power to vet the exhaust out. Afterward, my niece's husband made me a special hook to unlatch that garage door but it was a double stall extra tall (heavy) door so I'm not sure I could have opened it anyway.



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  12. Had to laugh about the leg warmers, Jane Fonda etc. I never wore them when they were popular. I've always been someone who is hot; but have noticed in recent years, now that the 60's have pasted me by, I do get colder than I used to. And when you get colder your arthritis hurts more. Particularly the back of the neck. Why is it that tops have necks scoop lower in back than front? Glad you got your floor problem taken care of and can get your place put back together again. Yeah for making loom hats for charity. I bought some looms years ago to teach my niece. She didn't have much interest. Don't know if I still have the looms or not. Will have to search around in the basement. I think it's a bit faster than knitting a hat.

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    1. The Cheerleader here has made as many as 500 hats in one winter, but she usually does between 2-300 hundred. She taught me a new way of making them from what my mom taught me which cut the time to make them in half. They don't look quite as good or would be quite as warm but they are a good way to keep your hands busy if you're used to multitaking.

      I hate the necklines on most tops these days. They probably save a lot of money/fabric on the layouts doing those low backs.

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  13. Don't know how I missed this one. So glad you got those floors fixed. Sometimes even an modified hissy fit works.
    Never wore leg warmers. Guess living in Florida so many years made them unnecessary. Arkansas does get nippy, may look into them.

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    1. I used to be outside in the snow a lot when I was younger and even into middle age when I plowed snow and they would keep your pants nd socks from getting wet and cold. Now I wear them inside my pants.

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  14. I recently saw Leg Warmers at the Dollar Store, hadn't seen any since the Eighties and now you've made me think I should buy a few pair. We've had colder and wetter Winter than usual, plus all the Guys run hotter so complain if I have the heat up to where I'm most comfortable and start opening Windows or turning on the Ceiling Fans, defeating me having heat cranked up higher. Glad you got your Floor Issues resolved and the Guys they send sound like a very accommodating Staff with nice personalities. I do hope the Cheerleader stays COVID Free, The Man has managed to, a minor Miracle really with the exposure he's had.

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  15. For 15 years, I rented a townhouse that had the ducts for the forced air heating between the floors, which meant that the downstairs heat registers were in the ceiling. Although I am normally a "human furnace" type, I was always cold from the knees down in winter when I was on the first floor. Finally, I asked the landlord for an exemption from the clause in the lease prohibiting the use of space heaters, explaining why. I should have asked sooner because he responded by insulating the crawl space under the first floor, which greatly increased the comfort of the space.

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    1. That was a great response from a landlord! Under me is the parking garage and cement floors. I'm sure that factors too.

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