Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

The Political Post


It’s been a long time since I’ve dedicated an entire post to politics. I think I’ve only done it twice---after the school shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut and after the White Nationalists torch-lite rally in Charlottesville, Virginia. Today will be full-blown political rant, this time against Mr. Trump. So, be forewarned if you’re a supporter of the president you might want to skip this blog post and come back Saturday when I’ll be back to writing about the benign minutia of living in my widow’s world. 

Before you leave, yes, I do know that he has a title that should go in front of his surname but he’s done so many things to dishonor the office of the presidency that I don't use the title when I speak or write about him. Maybe it’s because I’m old enough to remember as far back as the Eisenhower administration that I can’t understand how Trump’s fans can overlook his total lack of presidential decorum. Maybe it’s because I remember not so long ago when parents told their children to study hard and one day they, too, could grow up to be the president that I can’t understand how his fans can overlook his playground bullying, lying and lack of interest in studying the material needed to make good decisions. Please don’t feel the need to explain your support, just come back in a few days and I promise I’ll have my rant put back in the closet like a party dress that’s seen better days. 

To anyone still reading I want to say up front that I think Trump has turned the White House into a snake pit and breeding ground for evil that---by design or incompetency---is working towards destroying the very foundation of our nation. Under the gun is: 1) our Forth Estate, the freedom of the press; 2) our three branches of government that are supposed be autonomous to act as checks and balances; 3) respect for Truth and due process; 4) respect for following proper protocol and vetting when hiring and firing people to work in the White House, the Cabinet, the intelligence community and the Judicial branch; 5) respect for academia, science and the environment---rolling back regulations that are keeping our water and air clean is nothing short of scandalous; and last but not least 6) he’s costing us the respect of our allies and friends around the world. If I wanted to name a seventh thing Trump is doing to destroy the country I’d name the fact that he’s added twenty-one TRILLION dollars to the national debt, and don't get me started on what he's doing to our national parks system.

Everything Trump does is about him, his ego and his self-grandiose. And the 93 million dollar (now postponed) parade he wanted is a prime example of that. He wants to be dictator-in-chief instead of president. He’s divisive. He’s mean-spirited. He spends way too much time on Twitter picking fights with random people he nicknames whack jobs, slime balls, low-life’s, rat, low IQ’s, dogs, enemies of the people, dumb, liberal clowns---the list has grown to 487 people, places and things Trump has insulted and you can find the complete list at The New York Times here.

But his supporters would say, “He’s bringing in more jobs.” True or not, other candidates in the field who ran could have done the same and without the daily drama. His supporters would say he gave us a tax break. Thank you very much but I’d rather have that nineteen bucks used to help the poor and elderly. His supporters would say he’s doing something about illegal immigrants. What a nasty joke that is! If he really wanted to do something to stop illegal immigration he’d support one of the E-Verify bills floating around effectively drying up the job market that is drawing people across our southern border. What we don’t need is Trump’s inhumane program of separating babies from their mothers. How is it not kidnapping to keep babies under five in this country while deporting their mothers back to Central America? Yes, the administration is doing that and one judge ordered a plane---mid flight---to turn around and bring a mother back thanks to a lawyer from the ACLU.

In the personal blogs community, writing about Trump's failures is akin to touching the third rail. Mostly we resist the temptation to do so because we know it will offend roughly 30% of the population who holds Trump up as a savior while roughly 45% think he’s the anti-Christ and 25% are pretending to be ostriches with their heads buried in the sand. I did so today not because of anything new he’s done but because to continue to ignore “the elephant in the room” is not representing my life as it truly is---meaning I spend a lot of time following the national news. I always have. It’s a facet of my personality. I say in the introduction at the top of my blog, “I am a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world.” I usually write about the first two things but right now I’d burst at the seams if I couldn’t express how utterly disgusted I am with our so-called president.

If anyone is still reading, I know the odds are high that I'm preaching to the choir, so to speak, and that's okay. Maybe if we "preachers" and "choirs" get loud enough the ostriches will hear us and pick a side. It's our best hope for adding enough pressure on the House and Senate to get them to fulfill their duties to protect our Republic from presidential over-reaches. ©

NOTE: This was written before Paul Manafort's conviction came in and before Michael Cohen pleaded guilty to various charges, two of which implicate Trump in campaign finance violations. It's been a busy news day.

58 comments:

  1. Preach, Sista! You know I'm the choir on this and proud of it. You captured all the crazy in one blog post. Thank you for speaking up and speaking out. I've found I can't 'hide' aspects of my life from my readers. It feels inauthentic to me and I'm not getting paid enough (haha) to try to make people happy with my writing. So yay, you for joining the conversation when you are so moved to do so and, dare I say, giving support and permission for others to do the same. This is no time for silence. I'm hoping the convictions and guilty pleas today will move things along because the only good outcome of a corrupt president and administration is that the corruption be exposed and punished. At least one branch of the government appears to still be working. Brava for this post!

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    1. "If feels inauthentic" --- you hit the nail on head explaining why if felt weird not to be writing about the drama going on in D.C. I still won't do it often but silence does breed a sort of acceptance to something that is way beyond normal politics and normal .

      You are my personal heroine when it comes to activism in case I haven't told you that before.

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  2. You're created quite an argument here: specifically, that anyone who doesn't comment is a supporter of President Trump. That's not necessarily so. I simply prefer not to engage in rants or respond to them, regardless of the topic.

    As for the current situation, I do what I can. I subscribe to good news sources: particularly ones like Lawfare that help to unravel the legal complexities of current events. I email and write to my senators and representatives, I support the work of organizations that align with my interests and convictions, and when there's an opportunity to vote, I do it. The midterms are going to be interesting, to say the least.

    As for President Trump himself -- he is the president, and so I use the title. A president who dishonors the office still is the president. Just because he doesn't seem to respect the office, the American people, our system of government, or even himself doesn't change that.

    Cheerio!

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    1. You are far from an "ostrich" given what you wrote in your second paragraph. You're making your voice heard where it's the most important places to be heard. And you make a good point in your third paragraph about using the title 'president.'

      I didn't need to imply that anyone who doesn't comment is a supporter of the Mr. Trump. Even on regular topics I only get comments from roughly 5% of those who come to read. It's not in everyone's nature to reply on everything we read whether we agree or not.

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  3. And while I am ranting, a real man, let alone a president would never name call. Childish. So he has not earned my respect to be called president unless he is the president of his jail cell. He does not even deserve to be capitalize last name. I won't do it. He has said scathing things about President Bush, President Obama. So if you think calling him president is so important then stopping calling out others before him. He is a loser as he likes to call others. Loser is as loser does. :-)

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  4. I am no a Trump supporter but my comment is not political. Reading this post you said after this post you would go back to living in your ‘widow’s world.’ That intrigued me. I’m new at this widow stuff so I’m still learning. I don’t think I live in a widow’s world but that could be because I’m uninformed. Would you explain what that term means to you?

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    1. I think there is a big difference in living in a widow's world than in a couple's world. The social groups I belong to are filled mostly with widows and most widows find themselves invited out less and less by couple friends or married women. Every form you fill out makes you chose to be 'married' or 'widowed'. Saying I live in a widow's world is my shorthand for saying I depend on myself and no one else for everything I do in life. Like saying you're married, saying your widowed, defines you. If you say you're single then people will assume you were never married. I honor my husband's memory by using the title 'widow' rather than cutting him out of my history by saying I'm single or that I live alone.

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  5. Choir here. Whenever I read a list like yours of his egregious behaviors I find myself thinking, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." When new stuff piles up each day, some of the smaller sins get pushed aside. At least every other day he manages to almost out do the previous head shaker. He has no conception of truth or decent behavior. And the beat goes on and on and on. Please hurry and open the polls.

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    1. It's scary because most people who know about election security say we're not doing enough to protect against hacking at the polls.

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  6. Preach, Jean! Cheering you on from Canada....Deb

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  7. Thank you for this. I support all you said, 100%. Yesterday was a good day though.

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    1. I won't breath easier until we see some Republicans in the Senate and House start speaking up.

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    2. Not holding by breath for that. But still, it's a good day when this president is an unspecified co-conspirator. It's a step in the right direction, a sign that the tip of the iceberg is being seen. Baby steps, but yesterday was definitely a couple of steps in the right direction. :)

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    3. It was a good day! I have no doubt we'll see more like that in the future.

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  8. I am mostly Republican although did not vote for President Trump. His original ideas seemed good to me but his behavior and actions tell the real story. I do respect the office and the title but hope we find a way to get him OUT before the USA is ruined.

    I don't want to be an ostrich but have seldom found a political conversation that didn't become heated or ranting. Politics seem to be getting more degrading every term ....

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    1. Well said!

      Ostriches just need to stay or get informed and vote in the mid-terms! No need to get in heated conversations.

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  9. I'm still reading and I couldn't agree more. Three cheers for a thoughtful and articulate post. And the words "snake pit" couldn't be more apropos. Every day I think I can't be more shocked. And then I am.

    On a separate note -- thanks for the nice words on the painting and thanks, too for the nice comments on the wine post. No walnut cherry salad, but we did have cherries in our takeaways! You asked how we pick the wines. Basically, we alternate having it at people's homes about every two months. The host is responsible for providing the main dish and picking the theme -- French, California, Italian etc.), a certain region (Bordeaux, Northern Italy), wines for a summer night, and every couple (as most of us are) or singles if not, bring a bottle. On occasion, one guy will often bring a red and white because his wife is white-only (migraines) and we lean more toward reds. Dick pours small tastes to the 14 of us so even if we have a bit of all, it probably isn't more than a couple of glasses over maybe two hours. (OK, sometimes we DO have seconds!) I have a post on the Cork Poppers page but reading it now, I realized I wrote it back when Dick brought all the wine and picked the theme. He enjoyed it but it was a financial burden and now we all join in. I think I'll go edit that and repost it! Anyway, that's the scoop.

    With this so-called president, we all need more wine.

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    1. Wine is good for lots of things. LOL

      Thanks for the explanation on how your corker parties are organized. You have a wonderful group of friends. I enjoy your corker posts immensely.

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  10. I was very amused that you were moved to rant before the events yesterday. It made me wonder if you had smoke coming out of your ears after the news!
    Most of the accounts I have read today claim that this is only the beginning of what is going to be revealed about the criminal gang who have taken over our country. I heard this morning that behind closed doors they had been discussing the other people from whom they want to revoke security clearances, including our former President: that is really revolting.
    Breathe deeply.
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. No smoke coming out of my ears but I was a little shocked at the timing and how I might have written it differently had I been one day later.

      Talking about revolting security clearances makes our country less safe. If he actually does what he says he wants to do I really hope shit finally hits the fan in D.C.

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  11. Last night I watched Tony Schwartz, writer for 'Art of the Deal' on YouTube talking about what he witnessed of Trump's personality and morals while he was writing the book. He apologized for letting the temptation of money compromise his moral values enough to work with Trump. He was in his mid-thirties when the book was written.

    I've always thought Trump was a self-aggrandizing slime-ball. I don't want him impeached though because that would put Spence in the Presidency and he's smoother, but may be just as dreadful. It's just flat out depressing how his base fell for his con-job.

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    1. Pence would be a scary president, too. He knows his way around Washington and how to keep his head down while taking rights away.

      Interesting about Schwartz. I remember when the book came out. My husband read it and at the time he was investing in real estate and said, after reading the book, if that's what you have to do to be successful, he couldn't do it.

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  12. We have our issues here in the UK with Theresa May as well, and the Brexit cock up. I voted to stay in Europe.

    As for Trump, I agree with you.

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    1. I couldn't understand why that vote when the way it did. But we don't get a lot of in depth coverage of UK news over here.

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  13. I just say Trump, no title warranted.

    The midterms will reveal what the USA really thinks about trump. I agree Pence is MUCH worse. Also, if Bush Jr could get re-elected, so can Trump.

    Omarosa (and Cohen) have tapes, but will they change the cult's view? doubtful.

    I also blame the enablers, and the mealy mouthed, including McCain, who criticise but then vote with party.

    Also, trump continued to run his business unchecked all these years - that is a reflection (for me) of the corruption and bribery that allowed it, as rampant as any in a third world country.

    Finally, credit where it's due. Trump is excellent as a conman, selling punters what they want. He has brought some colour and interest into my widow's drab world. While I no longer follow his daily antics as assiduously as before - just makes me cross - i still keep tabs on him. How any sane person could believe in the man after all his antics: mockery of the handicapped, the blatant lies, etc and vote for him - I don't understand. Suppose it's similar to the scams of ageing, lonely women in search for love. I suppose all of us can fall for a conman, depending on what is on offer. ~ Libby

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    1. My theory is that his fans get their 'news' exclusively from Fox News and Breitbart and those sources don't cover the worst of his antics or they spin them.

      The "color" he's brought into the world is actually one of the things I thing many of his fans are truing enjoying. At least on political sites I go to I see them wanting to see him blow up our system of government and/or start a second American Revolution. He is the best conman, I'll give him that.

      I'm always amazed at how well informed you are about American politics. We get almost nothing here about Australia.

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    2. I should have added: he's a COWARD. I remember watching the clip when the African American lady pastor requested him to refrain from political comments in her church. He behaved like a scared schoolboy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. And again the report re his face to face meeting with sessions - all bluff/talk only. ~Libby

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  14. Well, here I am, way down at the bottom.
    The only Republican in the group. Used to be Republican. I don't quite know what I am now, as the GOP has changed so much.
    Personally, I can't stand Mr. Trump personally. He's a big time, New York Corporate slime ball. I can't stand his looks or his voice.
    Did I vote for him? Yes, because I detested the other candidate even more. I should have done what I did in 1964 and voted for neither one--I detested both Goldwater and Johnson, so I left the top of the ballot unchecked.
    There is no much news coverage now that we know every little tidbit. Back in the days of JFK, if we had known all the affairs he was conducting inside and outside the White House, he would have been vilified too.
    But..we are talking about the present President. I feel like I did while the last President was in office--couldn't stand him either. I think he brought more discord in the area of Civil Rights than any other President. The President is what we've got for the next two years--can't do a dang thing about it I'd rather just try and keep my own area of life calm and peaceful. Things we have no control over are not worth the worry and stress.

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    1. Glad you presented your views. I agree with you about JFK and if all Trump was doing is having and covering up affairs I could live with that...wouldn't like it but for some reason high-powered men seem to think they are entitled.

      I totally disagree with you about Obama but we've had those discussions before so no point in repeating myself. Hint to others: I "blame" the ability for people on the street to take and post videos online that prove what people of color have been saying all along is happening. Obama's election just scared the white nationalists enough that they came out of hiding.

      Judy I'm glad you are able to keep your life calm and peaceful. You deserve that. I almost envy you but I do believe collectively we have influence over the way the wind blows in D.C. So ignoring what's going on is not an option for me.

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  15. I don't think writing about 45* is a third rail in the blogging community; I think so many of us simply don't want to live it any more than we have to. I spend 60-90 minutes a day in the Resistance. I write letters, make phone calls, send emails, sign petitions, etc., all towards mobilizing positive change or blunting his legislative agenda. As the midterms ramp up, so will I even more. (If you'd like a resource to join us, there are links on my blog.)

    It's exhausting. I did the same thing during The Dark Years of Bush43.

    Politics isn't for sissies, not at any level. And trust me, the far-reaching consequences of lifetime judicial appointments made by this current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. will affect everyone here. Those appointments, and the upcoming SCOTUS one, are what is allowing the republican-led Congress to act like Everything Is Okay with this...individual occupying our White House. Everyone has skin in this game.

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    1. Maybe not the third rail but for me I have to decide if I have enough energy to reply to any and all comments that it might bring in. And I'm vain. I don't really want to lose readers over that man. LOL

      Thank you for being part of the Resistance! I don't do any where near as much as you and Donna (above) but I do what I can plus send money. You're right, everyone does have skin in this game, especially anyone with children and grandchildren.

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  16. Happy to see this post. You know I agree with every word! Well said.

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  17. I agree 100%...
    Here are some blogs on Wordpress you might like

    https://grondamorin.com/2018/08/22/its-the-day-after-when-reality-bites-what-are-gop-in-us-congress-to-do/

    jilldennison.com

    Both great ladies...great posts..mostly political

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  18. I met a Trump supporter a couple weekends ago. She also blurted out that, 'Obama was the worst president ever'. I quickly realized that NOTHING would change her mind. Facts were batted aside as false. But since it was a friends sister-in-law we didn't push the issue. The bubble they are in must be impenetrable. We need Superman or maybe Thors' hammer, also Wonder Woman's golden lasso might break thru. Because demons are "made of lies," when lesser ones are bound by the Lasso of Truth, their bodies reject the truth and explode.

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    1. The Trump supporters I know personally have the same opinion of Obama as your friend's sister-in-law. A hatred of Obama and love of Trump seem to go together. I just don't get how people can get so brainwashed! I'm kind of afraid for our country right now.

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    2. It's racism pure and simple

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    3. They would never admit that, but I personally think you are right.

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  19. I wrote a comment on Wednesday but before I published it disappeared. It was so great. All I can say is I LOVED THIS BLOG jean. I'm sorry but the American people don't have a president. I was watching the TV and this Trump lover said that OK, he had sex with other women but he did it in a way to save his wife. WOW, can you believe that? That man was an idiot. Save his wife Yuk!
    Everything that you said I agree and I'm a Canadian. Keep it going Jean. I'm pretty sure that very soon Trump will be going down from what I've been seeing & hearing. Hopefully, the world can get back to normal or whatever normal is. See you my wonderful friend. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. Thanks, Paul. As much as I'd like to see him go, I don't think it will happen until after the mid-terms if even then. He's too stubborn to step down and the Republicans are going to keep standing behind him as long as he keeps signing bills that are helping the big money donators who want deregulations, and promises to keep the one-issue voters happy who want to destroy Planned Parenthood and over-turn Roe vs Wade. It's mind boggling, isn't it, to watch his fans justify the most outrageous stuff.

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  20. Blogger Brent has a poster print from during the WPA years that he posted today. It could be now! http://nddaily.blogspot.com/
    Sure wish this wasn't my circus!

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    1. Brent sure isn't afraid of posting political stuff. I need to start eating what he's eating. LOL That poster is a good one.

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  21. I did not say, "Obama was the worst President we ever had," as one of your commenters implied. I said, I didn't like him. So that makes me a racist? I did not hate Obama and I do not love Trump. If you knew of the volunteer work I did on campus in 1964--1966, for civil rights, or the fact that my cousin was nearly killed in Selma, you might have a different opinion. Most of you have no idea what went on with the 60's civil rights movement and the people that were involved--unless you were there. But, because I claimed to be a Republican, I see intolerance, from the very Liberals who claim to be so tolerant.

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    1. I’m sorry you were so offended by the comments here that you felt the need to write an entire blog post/rant of your own that miss-characterized the comments here. If you took the time to re-read them you'd see you were not called a racist or anything remotely like it. In fact, your first comment was totally ignored by everyone but me and your last comment came too late for others to see it.

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  22. I read her blog and I don’t think she is a racist in any way. I also re-read this blog and could find no reference to anyone saying or implying that she was a racist.
    Judy said "she couldn’t stand Obama", not that he was the worst president of all. She is correct in that.

    I would have two serious questions for her.

    1) Just what did she feel was so bad about Obama? I personally don’t feel he brought racial discord. He did bring heightened awareness of black people's plight that for generations had felt like 2nd class citizens. Nothing wrong with that.

    2) Just what draws you to being a republican? What ideals and policies do you like that you think are worthy? I’m really just curious.

    Oh well. I hope she realizes she was being overly sensitive.

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  23. I was shocked at her rant/post. I came back here and re-read the comments three times, looking to see what she thought she saw and I came to the same conclusion---that she was being overly sensitive plus she miss-characterized a lot of what was written in these comments.

    Yup, it was oc1dean, (above) who made the reference about 'Obama being the worst president' and he was clearly writing about a woman he met who said it. I don't for a minute think he was also referring Judy's 'can't stand Obama" comment. They don't mean the same thing and he's a smart, straight shooting guy. If he wanted to include Judy, he wouldn't beat around the bush.

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    1. If anyone is curious about Judy's blog post/rant don't waste time looking for it, She has taken it down.

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  24. Even being an Asian I can feel the hear of disliking and hatred of majority of American people for trump!

    I am in the part of age whe one can smell the character of anyone with single look and i was so surprised when i heard he was elected as president

    Last night in news we heard about his inhuman reaction to the death of hero of American war John maccain but what better you can expect from him

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    1. I honestly thought when Trump bad-mouthed McCain during the election that that would be the end of his campaign. But there seems to be a core of people who will overlook anything he does. I just got up and have seen the news yet to know how he reacted to McCain's passing. But nothing that comes out of his mouth surprises me anymore.

      Thanks for your comment!

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  25. Dear Jean, thanks for posting your take on what is happening with Trump and in our political world. I read all the commons and your responses and found myself wishing somehow that all of us--conservatives, liberals, Democrats, moderates, Republicans, Progressives--could really learn to listen to one another with open hearts and minds.

    Not only have many of us lost our ability to be bipartisan, we also have never learned to listen. We hear what's being said, but all the time the words are coming out of the other person's mouth (or computer posting), we really are thinking of our reply. Fashioning it with our own anger or disgust or trust or approval.

    Of course now, the problem that you mentioned early on is really happening again--there is going to be a partisan checks in balances not only in Congress but on the Supreme Court.

    I find myself wanting to talk with Republicans who support Trump because I am unable to understand how they can look beyond his deplorable behavior and his narcissistic personality. Nor can I understand why so many Republicans in Congress put Party beyond people. It's clear that I need to read what it means to be a Republican now. I can still remember President Roosevelt. (I was nine when he died) And President Truman. So my memory goes far back and while I never supported many Republican views, there were also Republican senators and representatives who I admired and trusted. I knew they were men and women of integrity. Now I find myself mostly unable to think that way about the present Congress.

    Moreover, I find that some members of the Democratic Party also put Party before people--although, it seems to me, less often. We are caught up in a struggle for our country's very soul.

    Peace.

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    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful comment. We have lost our ability to listen to each other, haven't we. People project and read into things that others haven't expressed.

      Our checks and balances in the government really changed after the Supreme Court decided that corporations are people can donate large sums of money in 2010. Citizen's United needs to be over-turned to get the lobbyists out of the pockets of your House and Senate members.

      What's going on in Washington right now is scary!

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  26. Money is power and power always rules.

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