Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Our Senior Citizen Dress up Party

 


It’s hard to believe this continuum care complex has been open a year and our party was a true celebration with lots of fanfare, finger food, speeches, music and dancing. I truly believe that having most of us all move in within a few weeks of one another made this place unique and I’ve said from the beginning it was like moving into a college dorm where we are on equal footing coming in with no pre-formed clicks like I think happens in other similar living facilities. That first few months we were all either still unpacking or learning how to use our brand new appliances, and wandering around trying to find the right places for the various exercise classes and lectures. 

We practically wore out our concierge and I have personally tasked her with some odd ball requests like taking photos of my ankle mole for the dermatologist. She has the most demanding but interesting job with no two days being the same. She keeps dog treats for the visiting dogs and candy for the visiting grandchildren, unlocks a lot of doors, is constantly teaching and re-teaching us how to use the most complicated dishwashers on the planet. She calls us when we get packages delivered and helps to get the fire and ambulance personal get into where they need to be. She also helps those who are not computer literate to sign up for field trips, dinner reservations and filling out maintenance requests. Word of warning: don’t let your computer skill fall behind because being one of the first to open up the daily emails the concierge sends out to keep us informed puts us in a different tier of ‘young and hip’ around places like this.

If you’ve been following my blog you know there was quite the discussion about the dress code for this party. A few of the guys wanted it to be black-tie formal but a lot of the women didn’t want to dress to the nines, as they say. And, yes, you read that right and I typed it right. It was the men who mostly wanted to dress up. They finally settle on requesting us to wear ‘business attire’ and that started yet another debate on what exactly IS business attire. I think the guys just wanted a chance to show off their suits and ties. I ended up wearing a deep burgundy velvet jacket that falls mid thigh with a knit top underneath in the same color with black dress pants and my ungodley expensive Mary Jane’s made in Israel. I don’t even know how old that jacket is---I’m guessing its from the '70s, but I got a lot of compliments on it and the custom made widow’s necklace I also wore. It’s a long thing made with silver, lavender, aqua and wine colored beads that incorporated my husband’s wedding ring. Additionally, I dug deep in my jewelry box to find my wedding rings, my diamond studs and my sterling silver charm bracelet from the ‘50s and ‘60s. The bracelet was inspired by a conversation in the cafe’ where a lot of us decided it would be a good occasion to wear them again. Funny that so few of us didn’t downsize them out of our lives over the years. Mine has twenty charms and twenty stories to go with them. Several of us were not looking forward to the dress up aspect of the party but I have to admit, now, it put us in a festive mood as did the fancy-do, formal black table clothes and beautiful, fall floral arrangements all over the place.

Fifty-six people signed up for the party plus all the management people were there from the CEO down to the cleaning, kitchen and wait staff. I’m guessing there were close to 80 people all dressed up to party hard. They had a few speeches to get the ball rolling starting with the pastor who wrote a long poem about this place instead of  her doing an opening prayer---she’s planning to join our creative writing group. The CEO went next with an over view of the obstacles this place went through in the ten year planing stage and then construction shutdowns during the height of Covid. Next came our self-appointed mayor and his first lieutenant who gave many laugh lines and I was mentioned several times as were others, of course. While we ate and afterward two very talented singers who live here sang with a three piece band. Our Scottish resident had a few people in tears with his Old Danny Boy. 

As the night wore on about a third of the people were group dancing to songs like Proud Mary and our three little Ethiopian waitresses were in the mix for 3-4 songs. I “chair danced” not to be confused with dancing on a chair. I wanted to get up and dance with the rest of them but the champagne they served for toasting made me feel a little too unsafe to try it.  There was a cash bar open all night but I just drank water after the champagne. Other people, however, were hitting the bar often enough to be feeling their liquor. And the finger food they served was to die for…beef sliders, egg rolls, chicken bobs, shrimp bobs, platters over flowing with fruit, veggies and cheeses. And the cute little cheese cakes and brownies were perfect for dessert.

At one point The Cheer Leader (who is also known for being a kindergarten teacher for most of her career life did a skit using a wall chart she made of funny stories that have happened here like me getting locked out of my apartment on a Sunday morning while still in my bathrobe and having to walk past a bunch of women waiting for a ride to church to get our concierge to open my door. For a moment I wondered if she, too, keeps a secret blog or is writing a book or if her memory is just better than mine. Either way, it was a wonderful party! ©

* photo taken at the party but it doesn't show a half the people who are sitting off to the left in the cafe' area. Later on that empty area in the center of the photo was filled with dancers.

37 comments:

  1. You are blessed to have such a wonderful place to live. Your party sounds heavenly!

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    1. It truly was a great event. And we're still talking about it in the after glow.

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  2. What a great celebration! And when you think about how difficult it must have been to get your ccc built and organized, during Covid, it probably makes you appreciate it even more. The party had to be fun with the music, dancing, singing, food and champagne. All that is good for the soul!!!

    I think you're right about there being a special bond among all of you residents and the staff, since you all joined ranks at the same time. So glad you chose this place, Jean!

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    1. The planning for this place started 10 years ago when they acquired the land and not only did Covid cause a long work shut down (dictated by the state) and marketing events to get canceled, Covid also caused some material shortages. Our CIO who headed the project was in happy tears a few times at the party. I think we all teared up at one point or another.

      I think about what my life was like before moving here and although I had a social life with the senior hall this is so much better, not to have to take care of a house and yard, not to have to cook. It helped that this non-profit has another place in town that had been in business since 1909 that I could look at and make a judgement about the quality of care and services they give. I do think with a lot of research others can ID the best fit for them where ever you live. I tell people to start that a good five years before you think you might be ready to make a transition, then if a health issue comes up you've ahead of the game and you won't get overwhelmed and take any old place. The downsizing alone is a big job.

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    2. Sounds like a great party, and it seems like you were really partying with friends, after just one year. That's a good indicator of how your future there will go. Your comment about the champagne flashed me back to my earlier working days. I worked for a firm that did a lot of celebrating - Christmas parties, summer picnics in the park, as well as many events where clients were invited. In those days I didn't drink much, so I went into training. Preparing for the Christmas party I would begin to have a glass of wine several evenings a week, and maybe an occasional cocktail, just so that when I imbibed at the party I didn't get sloppy. I recommend it! I still don't drink much, but my at-home drinking has definitely increased over the pandemic, and I now make a before-dinner drink anytime I feel like it.
      Nina

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    3. That's a good suggestion for anyone who doesn't know how liquor and wines will effect them but have a social function coming up where drinking will be involved. Although the days when everyone was expected to drink are long gone now that drunk drivers are held more responsible than they used to.

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  3. Ah! A secret blogger? That's an intriguing thought. Do you ever feel like you are living a hidden existence? Friendly neighbor by day, knife sharp observations to be shared by night!

    It sounds like a wonderful party -- well done by the CCC folks and well appreciated by the residents. The food sounds great and I love that there was dancing and such great fun all around. It's hard to believe you have been there a full year. Where did that one go? That's a great observation about you all moving in at the same time. Makes a lot of sense. Now, onward to another year!

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    1. All the time I feel like I'm living a double life. LoL I did the same thing when I was in the Red Hat Society and active in the senior hall. But here it seems harder to keep the secret.

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  4. Sounds like a lot of fun. Glad you enjoyed yourself!

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  5. That sounds like just a lovely, lovely party. And I love all the details your shared. What a great place you have landed after all the work you did to get there. So glad it all worked out so well.

    I was chatting with my youngest when she turned 40 (!) this week. I told her I found a place I think I'll go when I need to move into a CCC. She laughed and said, "Look at you already picking out your retirement home." But I'm sure my kids would be grateful to have me manage that while I can.

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    1. There are three main reasons why people around here picked a CCC. 1) Like me, some don't have kids or grandkids to make those decisions for us if our brain power or bodies gives out and we can't stay at home, and 2) those people who don't want their kids to fight over their future care and/or to have the work/responsibility of their future care and life decisions. 3) Many kids have leaned on their parents to transition to a CCC while they can still make their own choices.

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  6. The event and the people all sound amazing! So glad you moved there.
    Juhli while on vacation so anonymous

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  7. I hope your concierge is paid what she is worth. What a jewel she is.
    That sounded like just a delightful party with no horror stories--only fun times. You made me wish of wish I had been there. Had to smile about Cheer Leader. Either she is blogging, writing a book or has a world class memory. So glad the party was a huge success.

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    1. I was a little worried someone would fall because of the drinking and dancing.

      We actually have three concierge but two only alternate working on the weekends and don't get nearly as many tasks or questions. We are all very fond of our main concierge. On her birthday she brought donuts in for all of us. One of the weekenders has a big garden and brings us flowers and veggies. The management knows how to hire good help.

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  8. Oh gosh your outfit sounds amazing ... did anyone take photos? Your group is so much closer because you see people all the time. And the size is big enough but not too big that you can know just about everyone's name. I have never had such a social life since Mr. Ralph left, so enjoy every thing!! And i too dread "fancy" occasions since I no longer have any appropriate attire. Thank goodness I learned about renting fancy outfits!

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    1. Yes, lots of people took photos with their cell phones but I won't be posting any. 1)To do that we're supposed to get the person's permitting to put any of them online or know if they signed a blanket permission slip when moving in. The Management will post some of the latter variety on their app. 2) Some people here forward photos with, say, me if I'm in them. I don't make a habit of posting my photo on Facebook or my blog. LoL

      I forgot about you mentioning renting fancy dresses before. I'm in a big enough city that I'm betting that is an option. We'll probably never have a party like this again.

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    2. Okay, I swapped the photo at the top for one actually taken at the party. Since no faces are showing I can do that without breaking a rule here.

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  9. Interesting that you used an illustration at the top of your post of a Jewish party.

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    1. Oops! I didn't see that before. I just swapped the photo out for one taken at the party.

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  10. A wonderful occasion. Making a special effort clothes wise makes it even more special, don't you think? Finding long forgotten jewellery, an item or two from the dressing up box, raises the spirits and the evening instantly becomes a night to remember. Lovely.

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    1. I was happy to wear something from another era that I bought back when I had money for better quality clothing than I buy now. Glad I kept the jacket.

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  11. I like the idea of you being a secret blogger recording the details of your lifestyle. Kind of like Harriet the Spy, only older and much snarkier.

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  12. That sounds like a fun celebration.

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  13. Sounds like a wonderful party! You are definitely a great addition to the complex, Jean and are making your mark, as evidenced at the party. I’m glad it was so festive - sometimes we forget to celebrate in this busy, modern life…and life should be celebrated.

    Deb

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    1. Dressing up was definitely an element that elevated the whole afternoon and evening and carried over to the next day when we all were swapping compliments.

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  14. What fun! It sounds terrific, and everyone dressing up probably made it even more festive and special. Your outfit sounds like it was lovely and quite appropriate.

    I think you're exactly right about all of you moving in together being the reason that no hard and fast cliques have formed. You're kind of like the freshman class of the place. Will cliques form as you all continue on? Maybe so, but you seem to be able to mix with everyone pleasantly.

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    1. I think cliques will form as people move on down the care chain or die and new ones move in but it probably won't be in my time. We're all very friendly and make a point to carry that on with new people moving in---talk to them, invited them to tables during lunch, etc. The Cheerleader knows everyone's hobbies and backgrounds makes sure anyone new with common interessts gets introduced to one another.

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  15. What a terrific event. Even I like to dress up from time to time; I think it's a great way to signal that a real celebration is about to take place. Honestly, I miss the more formal days from time to time. I remember when we'd dress up to fly, and Easter bonnets and shoes were quite the thing. I'm convinced that's part of the reason Queen Elizabeth was thought of so fondly; she always reminded me of the days when no one would think of running to the store in curlers and cutoffs!

    Anyway: back to your party. Parties are great for bonding, too -- I predict the next year is going to be even better for all of you!

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    1. Now that surprises me about you...that you miss the more formal days from time to time.

      I doubt the management would throw another party like that next year. It must have cost a royal fortune. They even had an ice sculpture! They were supposed to throw us a party when we first all moved in but Covid postponed it twice, so this was a combination of that and the anniversary. And there is only one first year.

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  16. Sounds like Management knows how to throw a Party and get people to want to participate and have a memorable time with good Food, good Fellowship and to Celebrate the 1st Anniversary. It sounds like you really enjoyed it and dressing up is fun sometimes, I like to do it for Events, even if I don't have to. It doesn't seem like a whole Year has flown by tho', does it? You were so patient waiting for the place to be built and downsizing for the Big Move was all consuming there for a while... now you can enjoy the fruits of your labor and investment it's paying dividends and I'm so very Happy for you Jean. The placement is perfect for this Season of Life and in many ways the Posts do sound like College Days. I never went to University but my Friends who did have Shared their experiences and in many ways it sounds like a Fraternity of Friends there where you are who will become close. It was good that you all moved in together and were the first 'Class' to enjoy the place, it had a more bonding atmosphere... kind of like when a whole Subdivision gets built and everyone moves into their new Homes at the same time, they tend to be tighter knit than when you are the Newbie and everyone else has formed their Relationships/Cliques.

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    1. It was a combination of the Resident Council and management and one guy doing most of the planning.

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