The lawyer they used practices elder law and has one hour free consultations. So in I go with my notebook for review and my list of assets and income and I let him school me on how trusts work. He used a white board to draw on and let me just say that the guy is so darn cute I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. He’s not just cute like a puppy dog cute. He could easily be a print model or movie star. Think Brad Pitt in his thirties. Mr Hottie Lawyer looked like he just came in from doing manly things like chopping wood or skiing down a sunny slope---anything that could put a healthy glow of sun kiss in his perfect skin. He was wearing a cream colored dress shirt under a melon colored, pull over sweater with a pair of sandalwood colored dress pants that matched the color of his prefect hair which was carefully styled to look like he just got out of bed. And when he smiles it's the genuine kind that engages his sparkling eyes and gives you a flash of perfect teeth. And if all that isn’t enough to kick start someone’s dried up ovaries, he was down to earth and has a friendly personality. When I got home I texted my youngest niece about the fact that I have a trust being drawn up and “Boy, is that guy cute.” She texted back that when she and her sister left his office recently, her sister asked what she thought of the guy and my youngest said the first words out of her mouth were, “Boy is that guy cute!”
My new lawyer is on the board of directors of another continuum care complex here in town and he understands how they work and what people need in the way of assets to get into them, etc., etc. He surprised me when he said that I have an above average estate from what most others living in places like this have. So I guess I will quit my Blue Collar worrying about going over my monthly food allowance or buying something I could do without from a late night binge shopping on Amazon. My latest hot purchases were a third pair of compression stockings made out of bamboo and some tennis shoe cleaner. But you should see my ‘Wish List’ of stuff. When I finish this post I'm going to buy the Christmas sweater on the list. People here are really into holiday dressing. We have a Halloween party coming up on Monday with a special buffet and we’re supposed to wear a costume. I don’t like Halloween---never have as an adult---so I will not be wasting money or time trying to come up with something to wear. I might get a dollar store headband, if the mood suits me over the weekend.
When this post goes live on Saturday and you’re reading it over morning coffee I’ll be sitting out on our piazza where a bunch of kids in costumes from a near-by church school will be stopping by to trick-or-treat the various buildings on this campus. I hope they get my brother out on the deck to see them. The person in charge of his transition say he’s doing well adjusting, by the way. Still asks my youngest niece about going home, but that's to be expected this early on.
I was walking down by the lake a couple of days ago, in front of his building, and I ran into a woman who left our independent living building and was moved into the Memory Care building where my brother is at. She was with her daughter and she looked fabulous, like the move took all the worry out of her. She was constantly walking around our building with a sheet of paper, afraid she was going to miss something on our schedule of classes and she would get kicked out. She did it one too many times in the middle of the night, fell and that was the end of her independent living. When she came home from rehab for the injuries due to the fall she came home to a room in Memory Care. She seemed happy and contented and said to me, "I hear I live in the dementia unit now," and I replied, "I don't know about that but their memory care program has won state awards." I didn't want to use the 'D' word in case she was fishing for information they hadn't told her or maybe they don't use that word in that building? Her daughter looked like it wasn't the first time her mother had trolled that 'dementia line' out and she was getting ready to deliver a canned speech that went something like, "Remember Mom, you need to be where you have some supervision since your fall."
We said our goodbyes and I'll be seeing you agains and I went back to daydreaming about my new lawyer and his two perfects kids and pretty wife. Yes, I internet stalked him when I thought about using his photo with this post. But I decided he and Brad Pitt really do look like they came from the same gene pool, so you get my celebrity crush instead. He's been my celebrity crush since he did the movie, A River Runs through it. It's still one of my top five movies of all-time. ©
"He surprised me when he said that I have an above average estate from what most others living in places like this have." That's even better than his being cute. 😊
ReplyDeleteYes and going into a period when I'll have a lot of extra expenses I hadn't counted coming up on it made me feel good!
DeleteOh yeah! LOL A man who looks like Brad Pitt would be a real distraction during a lesson on finances and wills. Glad your niece will be there to keep an eye on things. I have a niece in my trust plan, along with our two sons. She'll make sure things are done the way they should be and will guide the boys. She's very sharp, but more than this, she's dealt with death before--her eldest son died about 12 years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt's important to have someone you trust to do it. I remember an maiden aunt of mine died after her two brothers and a lawyer was calling around the family to find someone to take over because no one was named. Too often in cases like that someone who is looking to make a buck takes on the job but in my aunt's case she got a cousin who brought a set of books to the funeral for everyone to see and after paying all the aunt's bills she's spent all but 34 cents of my aunt's estate on the funeral. My aunt would have loved it. Flowers everywhere and a casket fit for a queen. My aunt worked in Catholic churches and hospitals her entire life, scrubbing floors and never had more than a rented room in a group home.
DeleteSo much fun to let our imaginations run wild, with our crushes. We're not dead, after all! Sounds like the lawyer provided enough eye candy to stoke the imagination. What fun!
ReplyDeleteLoved your description of "blue collar" worrying. Yes, it's hard to break from that habit of frugality, even when our assets are more than enough to keep us solvent. I have a (disabled) brother who relies on me for a number of things. If it weren't for that, I'm pretty sure I'd be signing up for a community living experience such as yours. Sounds like you're in a community of caring people, with plenty of activities to engage in, or not.
Carole
When I first moved here, I had a real hard time getting over the fact that I'd live my whole life saving money and now I have to spend what I saved. The concept that I was saving money so I could still live above poverty after I could no longer earn money hadn't kicked in yet. Still bothers me, if you want to know it. I call it a blue collar worry because there are a lot of retired professionals who don't seem to have a care in the world for how much money they spend.
DeleteI really do live in a caring community with lots to do...or not as the mood strikes me.
I've been thinking my husband and I should probably look for a new attorney in the community we've moved into. I remember my parents had a trust and it made settling their estate much easier. A person really does wonder how much money we'll need as we finish our last chapters. Remember when a million dollars seemed like a huge amount of money? With costs rising it does make a person think. Fingers crossed that our money outlasts us!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're healing and regaining the use of your hand.
Trusts are not cheap but I looked at like it's only $1,000 out of each of my heir's share and supposed if I run out of money living in a continuum care complex they can't kick me out and they pick up the cost of me staying here.
DeleteI had a scare with the first hand that I had surgery on. I was trying to make a ribbon rose and my thumb locked up which the surgery was suppose to prevent in the future. A woman here to teaches a class on how to do them had a couple of left-handed women who couldn't learn from her and she asked me to co-teach the class. After that happened I told her I just couldn't do it. The same hand motions it takes to make ribbon roses are the same motions that ruined my finger joints in the first place.
I must be getting old. I pay more attention to interesting men than attractive ones these days. You did start me thinking about the celebrities I've had crushes on in the past, and the one who came to mind most vividly was Ricky Nelson: back in the days when he still was 'Ricky' instead of the more grown-up 'Rick.' Even today, I remember that he wore a size ten shoe, and his favorite color was red.
ReplyDeleteI still appreciate him as 'Rick,' because over the years he became increasingly interesting, and one of his later songs is high on my playlist. He wrote "Garden Party" as a response to fans who only wanted to hear his oldest, most familiar songs: fans who weren't at all eager to see him change or to hear new material. I love this line from the song: "f memories were all I sang, I'd rather drive a truck."
I liked Ricky Nelson but I wasn't crushing on him. He sure died in a tragic way with the plane crash. I can see how singing the same songs over and over again could get boring for a singer/song writer. We have a guy who comes to our campus to entertain and all we want him to sing is Jimmy Buffet songs. One time I asked him to play one of the songs he wrote and he said it was the first time anyone had ever asked him that.
DeleteThanks for the walk down Memory Lane with the Nelson Family.
Hmmm, you’ve got me thinking about what an anti Halloween costume would look like! Perhaps one of your new friends could bling you up or something?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Auntie Mame could and would but if I do anything it will be one of those bouncy headbands with pumpkins on it.
DeleteNo, no, no. We want to see the real photo! Rick and I have mutual trusts. I do need to adjust some things in mine now that we have baby grands. But the whole thing is complicated. The main thing is that we take care of each other and I think we're both covered there.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget your second in line is really important, too. Don and I had the same set up as you and Rick and it sure served us well when he had his stroke. No relatives coming out of the woodwork wanting to take over.
DeleteIt is always in the back of my mind that I have to make my pile of money last until I die. It would be great if I could get a dying date estimate so I would know how to space out my purchases!?!
ReplyDeleteDon't we all want to know the ending date until it actually happens and a doctor gives you his prediction. I do have the algorithm from the insurance company when I applied to live here and a new office girl accidentally showed it to me. According to them I've got six years left.
DeleteMy teenage celebrity crush was George Hamilton after I'd seen a rerun of Where the Boys Are. I'd been ten when the movie actually came out.
ReplyDeleteDealing with legal stuff is no fun, but we are lucky. Both my husband and our oldest daughter are attorneys. We are also lucky because we have family histories of siblings always being fair to the other siblings in executing wills and I'd trust both our daughters. We recently went through and made another change. Three of our five grandchildren are now adults, and the last two are hot on their heels. We decided. if we still have enough funds to do so, to grant each of them a set sum not equal to what their parents will inherit but enough to help along a little. We consulted our daughters first.
Nice to have lawyers in the family! I trust all of my heirs to be fair, but two (the women) are better suited to handle the details of the job than the other two---(the males).
DeleteIf he is that cute it would be hard to concentrate. So glad you are above average and can relax with spending cautions. I fear I am probate material but that is OK. I'm warm and eat well.
ReplyDeleteStaying warm and eating well are the most important things!
DeleteAh, nothing like dealing with a gorgeous young man with your legit business needs. LOL. My divorce lawyer was fun and handsome and I survived a lot of it with his support and good humor. He made me laugh a lot at a really unfunny time. If I could run into someone who looks like Stanley Tucci or a young Ed Harris, that would be my huckleberry.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was with my lawyer the thought crossed my mind that females from three to ninety-three probably all look at him with a silly grin on our faces and he probably doesn't even know why. He didn't act like a lot of guys do who know they are that cute.
DeleteI remember I liked A River Runs Through It when I saw it in the theater about a million years ago. That was one very young Mr. Pitt in that movie. We updated our wills not long ago. It's freeing to think that is done, hoping that they won't be needed in a long time.
ReplyDeleteBrad was 30 when he was in that movie but played a younger guy in his early 20s.
Deletei know what you mean about it being 'freeing' to have the legal stuff done.
I need to look into some legal things like trusts etc., too. I signed up for a one-day class on estate planning that is coming up in December. Hopefully I get some good information, and the instructor is not too distractingly gorgeous...
ReplyDeletejust a little would be nice though, to liven up an otherwise dry subject 😉.
Loved your response to the lady asking about the "dementia unit". She probably needs reassurance and I thought your response was very honest yet very kind, Jean.
Deb
I always felt bad for her when she lived in our building because she tried so hard to fit in but was clearly placed in the wrong building. People would try to help her but her short-term memory was so bad she'd ask the same questions of everyone, all day long.
DeleteGood to get our legal affairs in order then we never have to think of them again...unless our dogs die and they were in the will. LoL
My lawyer looks more like Chuck Grassley or Bernie Sanders than Brad Pitt. But, he gets the job done.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's really all the matters, isn't it. But I do like eye candy.
DeleteOur lawyer is an old family friend of mine who used to ride over to our house on his unicycle. He certainly doesn't do that anymore, he assured us.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been fun to see.
DeleteI never heard that a trust wouldn't be a good idea? Unless one didn't have a friend or relative to follow the deceased's wishes. And my legal death stuff was a set fee (affordable) and a minimum fee to update every three years. I'm hoping I've enjoyed and shared everything down to the last $0.34!
ReplyDeleteMy maiden aunt must have seen a lot of funerals and other events in Catholic Churches she worked in and having a big funeral with all the bells and whistles meant something to her. It wouldn't mean anything to me. I think my old lawyer was looking at a trust as that would cost me a lot of money at a time when I wasn't really sure how much in assets I'd have. It was right after my husband died.
DeleteI have no will no need I have nothing to leave
ReplyDeleteSometimes not having anything sounds good to me.
DeleteYou had me at Brad Pitt. Something else we have in common. He's my fantasy guy! Lucky you to have a real life "Brad" to visit. LOL And good for you for visiting an elder law attorney. We did that for my mom when I took over her finances when dementia made it impossible for her to manage things on her own. It was a godsend. We got great information that helped tremendously. At the time I thought her fee was too high, but it ended up being worth every penny. So...Happy Shopping!
ReplyDeleteThe price the new lawyer quoted for a trust was lower than the one I had after my husband died, ten years ago. If I don't spend it now, it will probably go to the CCC instead...assuming I live long enough, which I'm planning to do. I love Brad Pitt!!!!
DeleteReally, once you are gone, who remembers you? My grandfather gave millions to charity- and no one knows about him but us fifty years later.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me the most important piece of paper is power of attorney if you lose the capacity to care for yourself. You need to trust someone. As much as you dislike your nephew’s politics, he may be your saving grace.
Don’t let Brad Pitt talk you into spending money on him and his lovely family to set up an expensive trust 😀 I’ve worked through several trusts. The lawyer seems to get a lot in the end.
My sister, a widow with no children, has a will with our niece as the executor. She desires to have money go to her charities with equal amount going to niece. Works for me- I trust the niece will care for her and follow her wishes.
It's not my nephew whose politics I don't like, it's friend who is listed in my will who at the time of my husband's stroke helped us out a great deal over the next ten years. He is a full blown Trump devotee now who believes every crazy conspiracy theory out there. Every single core value I have he is now against. I could have easily left him off this year's version of my will and I thought about it. Hard. But the fact is who he is now has no baring on how grateful I still am for how important he was once in my life. And I'm hoping one day he'll come back to reality. I would fully trust and love my nephew as much as my nieces. I've re-read this post several times and can't figure out how you decided otherwise.
DeleteDepending on how long I live there might not be much money left to divide between my heirs but, if possible I would like them rewarded for any work/oversight I may or may not need as I decline. According to my lawyer a will would not help if I happened to be in the same situation my husband was in after his stroke. The power of attorneys for health and finances are the important documents then. A trust just simplifies all the stuff heirs would have to do to settle an estate as opposed to going through probate and to pay off end of life expenses.
Your attorney sounds like my ortho doctor who i have renamed Doctor Tan, Tall and Gorgeous. He is blonde and very tall and just to die for. His hair falls across his face at times like like Hubbel in The Way We Were. Yes, he can make grown women swoon. Hence why my spouse tells me I am hurting myself on purpose to see him. I'm not, but it doesn't hurt he is so good looking and extremely nice now does it?
ReplyDeleteI used to have a foot doctor like your ortho doctor right down to the Hubbel hair thing---gets me every time when a guy does that. Not only was he cute but he was nice and did lots of trips to third world countries to help poor people. It's kind of sad statement about our society when a really smart compassion guy who just happens to look like a Greek God gets praised more for their looks than their good works. They have a lot in common with blondes with big boobs. No matter what they do, sometimes it's the first impressions they can't overcome to be taken seriously.
DeleteDear Jean, thanks for posting about the "trust." I'm going to do some research on that. My assets are truly small, but I do want my nieces and my nephew to have whatever is left when I die. And to have it without much to-doing!
ReplyDeleteAh, Brad Pitt. Yes, I suppose that if I have a "crush" on any movie star, it would be, as the cats and I say, "Brad!" And I agree with you about the movie. Peace from Dee Ready (cominghometomyself.blogspot.com)
I imagine any writer---aspiring or otherwise---like you and me would love that movie. I think of it often when I'm editing my posts.
DeleteI've had a Crush on Brad since his debut in 'Thelma and Louise'. *Winks* Of coarse I also had a Girl Crush on his Ex Angelina, both of them are extremely Talented and can be so Comedic as well as great in Serious Roles. I liked the Philanthropic Work they did without fanfare Worldwide. I had a long time Friend in the Entertainment Industry who had the pleasure of knowing them both and said they could be so down to Earth and I didn't find that surprising at all. Anyway, glad you got a Cutie Lawyer to handle things for you, it makes those things we must do tolerable when someone doing it for us is easy on the Eyes and very good at what they do. As for the Lady who had to transition after being unable to live Independently anymore, glad she's done well with the change that was necessary. I often wonder how I will handle any significant changes as time presses on? I Hope I can do so with dignity and Grace.
ReplyDeleteMe too on wondering how I'd handle that last big transition. So many people here in independent living say they will kill themselves before moving in a place like memory care or assisted living. That always makes me go stone cold and quiet because that's like saying those people have no value anymore and they do matter to their families. Having an elderly relative commit suicide would leave so much guilt behind with loved ones who'd think they we're doing enough to support an elderly parent.---that's mu view anyway.
DeleteThe Devaluation of the Disabled Community, no matter what significant Disability they are afflicted with, always shocks me and it's very difficult for me to not say something. I have witnessed the blatant discrimination that my own Loved Ones have endured by so many in Society who feel they don't deserve the same consideration, dignity and Rights as everyone else. I'm a fierce advocate of those Society marginalizes and discriminates against.
DeleteI'm so glad you went to an Estate Planning Attorney. That was the field I worked in most of my life. Yes, the attorney costs money, but its like buying burial insurance so those you leave behind don't have to make decisions. Having a handsome attorney to talk to doesn't hurt either.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the validation on my decision. I go in for the final signings on Friday. The thought of making my family go through all the hoops of probate made me feel so badly. Going downtown to the court would be a nightmare in itself.
Delete