Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, July 6, 2019

It's Official......


Every so often---and probably more often than you’d like---going forward I’m going to do a progress report highlighting a recent downsizing project or backsliding. (Heaven help me if that happens)! Writing it down for the world to see is accountability to keep me on track, and because I’ve spent all but the first ten years of life recording my life, I am driven from within to keep on doing so. Which reminds me, I really need to get my old diaries out, and set the box next to my La-Z-Boy so I can start going through them in the evenings. No rest for the wicked in this house. Twice in the past five years I’ve set out to do one finally reading and then destroy those old journals, but I get side-tracked getting to know my younger self all over again. My second oldest diaries is filled with movie hand-bills. Remember those? They were small pieces of paper that you’d get at the theaters or grocery store advertising upcoming movies. Blackboard Jungle, Rock Around the Clock…I saw all the old classics back then. But of course those films weren’t classics the first time around.

Anyway, for my first “Downsizing Update” I accomplished the following: My friend Tim came over and we loaded up his trailer with my antique, metal patio furniture---no more spray painting every five years! Can I hear a hip, hip hooray for that? Also loaded on the truck was an expensive Schwinn Airdyne exercise bike that I’ve been using to hang a bag to collect pop cans for recycling---that was a mistake, they sell new for $700 and I should have tried to sell the bike for a fixed price first before sending to the auction house where I’m guessing it will go for under $40. Also on that load were 8 folding chairs only used twice, 3 office chairs I quit using for reasons I’ve forgotten but I couldn’t fit them in my car to donate, a garden cart, a couple of boxes of flower pots and trellises and other things so unimportant I've already forgotten but the trailer was full when it left. Among the junky, junk was a box of small antiques like a pair of three wheeled, clamp-on roller skates from the 1800s---Big wheels, 6 inches across! I’ve wanted to clean the skates up and bring them inside for decades but I haven’t so now someone else gets the chore/dream of what a neat conversation piece they are if only you could touch them without getting your fingers greasy. 

Also accomplished this week: I made my quota of ten e-Bay auctions and the sleeper item was a pair of cowboy spurs that are up to $300 and will probably close around $500. I knew when I did some research on them that they’d bring on a bidding war because they are stamped with the name of a famous spur maker, circa 1900. My pair has a broken piece of bling on them and if not for that they’d be worth $2,000, give or take a hundred. I was shocked when sat at computer screen learning about the guy and his famous spurs and I wondered if my husband knew that. He probably did. He spent a lot of time reading and researching thus he was an educated picker. Well, most of the time. He once bought a fine china tea pot with a 1930's style gas station logo on it for $400 but I was lucky to get $100 bid on it. Oh well, at least it didn’t end up at the Salvation Army and the guy who "adopted" it was happy. Neither one of us had ever seen another like it.

My oldest niece came into town the same day Tim was here, to see if any of the stuff that belonged to my mom was anything she wanted before it disappears from my house. They probably met in passing 20 years ago but I’ve wanted them to meet again. She’s got this calm, in control personality that came from being a special ED teacher for 16 years and Tim has an off the wall personality that makes you think he’d hang upside down from the chandeliers if he thought it would make you laugh. 

I have a collection of buttons (both mine and my mom’s) that my niece was particularly interested in seeing because part of that collection came from her mother who got the buttons from her grandmother and from going door-to-door asking for buttons. She gave them to my mom when she was still dating my brother. Button collecting peaked many decades ago. Back then they were like baseball cards, you traded and tried to get one of every type and color of button manufactured and the Baby Ruth’s of the button world were the handmade scenic and portraits buttons. But unfortunately, back when my mom was hot and heavy into buttons the cards of buttons my niece’s mom assembled apparently got un-assembled and now they’re lost forever in a mix that will be sold by the pound on e-Bay. But first I’m thinking of finding two small jars and filling them up for my nieces with a note that the jars represent a hobby that entertained four generations of women in the family. Marie Kondo would tell me to say “thank you” to the 24.8 pounds of buttons and throw them out. Obviously I’m not there yet. ©

38 comments:

  1. Wow, great first steps but I am agog at the 24.8 pounds of buttons! I'm betting you will feel much lighter when all is done.

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    1. I've been using the word "portable"...I'll feel more portable when I'm done with basement and the garage and with saying goodbye to part of my past.

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  2. Hip hip hooray!

    I'm crazy about buttons. I just love to collect them for the cheery, colourful presence they have. And I use them for various knitting projects, too.

    You're doing this at a great pace while your energy is up and positive before you get overwhelmed and tired of it all. That's great.

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    1. Exactly! I know by time I finish the garage and basement it will be closing in on fall and then I'll be able to tackle the more mundane stuff like closet cleaning where it will only involve trips to Goodwill.

      Two nights in front of the TV and I finally looked at every button in those 24.8 pounds and I've come to the conclusion there must be another box around because these were not the better buttons I remembered. But they are pretty and I'm happy to run into someone else who understands their appeal. I'm keeping one tiny jar full for myself, too, and that's it.

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  3. You're taking me back to our downsizing 7-8 years ago. I also had a button tin with my buttons, my mother's and grandmother's. I found an artist doing art with buttons online at Freecycle. Met her at the subway and handed them over.

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    1. I'll bet that felt good! Thanks for sharing that memory.

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  4. Such a big chore--physically, but even bigger in letting memories go. I have my grandma's button box. Nothing spectacular in it. Lots of old buttons, because when it was time to throw out a well worn and patched shirt, the buttons were always cut off and saved.

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    1. I spent my entire youth being the person in the house that had to cut off buttons and take out zippers from any clothing too worn out to turn into something else---rags, doll clothes, quilts or handed down to cousins. Times sure have changed, haven't they. Seldom do people even wear out their clothes. They just get tired of the styles.

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  5. I do remember having a button jar in our family but I am still wrapping my head around 24 pounds of them. Wow. You are right, now days clothes never make it to the snipping off buttons stage.

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    1. I just went out to the garage to measure the box they were in. It's 10"x14"x17". Buttons weigh a lot! I'm think there must be another, smaller box around. too.

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    2. My grandmother kept a diary for almost 80 years. We as a family, made the decision to donate all of her diaries to the state historical society so that researchers in the future would be able to use them to see what life (and her hopes, dreams and feelings) were like during a period that started in 1908 and ended in the late 1980's. We were assured that her name wouldn't be used (not that we cared).

      The historical society was thrilled to get the diaries and we were happy to think that people sometime in the future would have a access to such a treasure trove of information.

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    3. What a wonderful thing to do! Kind of like 'The Little House on the Prairie' some diaries are a great reads the more time that passes. Mine, however, are not unless you'd call them The Ramblings of a Boy Crazy Woman. My mother-in-law's diaries would be a great find for what life was like living on a farm after the Great Depression and into WWII. But his kids didn't see it the same way.

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  6. This is my first post here. I hope by being a man I'm not in the wrong place. I too have been lightening my load since I turned 70 last year. I gave away a big box of tool I thought I'd never use again. Then I took on a challenge to do some serious work on my 1990 Ford Ranger. I had to buy the tools again. I hope I use them more than once.

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    1. Heck, yes, guys are welcome here.

      That's a funny story about your tools. I've given things away in the past that I needed again and here I thought I knew myself better than that.

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  7. Oh Jean! You are really making progress. GOOD FOR YOU! I hope your son continues to help you stay on track. Thanks for continuing to blog through all this hard work. I love it!

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    1. Yes, the son-I-wish-had is in it for the long haul. Glad you "love it"---the downsizing stories---because otherwise I won't have much to write about because until the snow flies, there won't be much else going on in my life to write about.

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing your adventure! Just reading about it makes me tired. :D

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    1. I went to the grocery store today and was so tired from the day before that I had to sit down and rest at the half way point. In my defense the store literally covers over an acres.

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  9. I'm wishing I had your energy and motivation. I don't, but I sure am enjoying reading about your journey. And it really is a journey, isn't it? (or adventure)

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    1. Yes, and I've often said downsizing is like living your life in reverse. It's full of emotional twists and turns.

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  10. Through such blogs as yours, I've found that even thought I live across the world from you, our generation is very similar. I've seen my mother remove buttons and zips when from old, unwearable clothes. And I did the same!! well, I was into sewing, and buttons and zips were expensive for what they were!!!

    I shall be following your progress. I'd thought of downsizing to a flat but have now dropped the idea. I'd rather move just once, into an old aged home/nursing home facility. ~ Libby

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    1. During WWII you couldn't even buy zippers here in the states. My mom, having grown up poor never lost her insecurity and worry where money was concerned.

      This will be my last move, too, Libby. I don't know if you have continuum care facilities in OZ but this is what I'm moving into. I'll be in the independent living section but even if I need a nursing home or hospice down the road, it's literally down the road in the same complex only with better views of the lake. I like the certainty of knowing that whatever happens to me, I've made my own choices.

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  11. Congratulations, Jean! Off to a fine start...

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    1. If only I could work that hard every day. I used to but now it takes two light days to make up for one hard day.

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  12. I loved my grandmother's button jars (Mason jars, as a matter of fact) and my mother's button box. But you brought back something else: remember the game called "Button, button, who's got the button"? We played that in grade school on a regular basis: one of those classroom games that helped to pass recess time on rainy days. As soon as I remembered that, others started coming back, including musical chairs and a gem called "Poor Pussy," where the point of the game was for the designated 'kitty-cat' to make someone laugh by feigning a pitiful appearance. We didn't have video games, but we still had fun.

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    1. Give a kid a button jar today to play with and I bet it wouldn't last long. Different times, different kids. But even as a young adult they would fascinate me by the hours.

      You should write a blog about childhood games we used to play. I remember 'who's got the button' and 'musical chairs' but never heard of 'poor pussy'. That name would bring snickers today.

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  13. My goodness you are doing great. I also have a stash of buttons I just haven't made myself donate. The Grand Girls 6 and 9 have been having great fun playing with them and making jewelry. When the pass through this stage I will make myself donate them but at least they will entertain some little girls one more time. But then, it must be done. We tend to collect too many items and I am determined to let go of as many as I can.

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    1. Your buttons are serving a function that has entertained girls and women for a couple of centuries. No need to feel guilty about holding on to them.

      Tell me about collecting too may things! I used to say I collect collections. I just haven't added to any of them in a couple of decades. But then the search for things to add to collections was a form or entertainment for us. We didn't buy fancy wines or dinners or go to pricey shows or take expensive vacations like others might spend their money on. So I try to balance the regrets of collecting too much with the fun that collecting too much brought into our lives.

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  14. I'm exhausting just reading this all. My you've been a busy woman. Once you made that decisions you are moving at lightening speed. Good for you. Button jars really gave me a flashback!

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    1. Have to do as much as I can before winter gets here, then everything will come to a grinding halt.

      Everyone seems to have a memory of a button jar.

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  15. Don't let that little Marie Kondo boss you around! Just saying!

    I'm glad you have really started making good headway == I'm impressed with what you've done already. You will now be my inspiration motivator!

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    1. I would have to pick the hottest month in Michigan to do the garage downsizing. LOL I wonder what little Marie would say about that.

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  16. I too inherited the button jars of my mother, grandmother and greataunt! They were all very good seamstress', but I am not. The button jars bring back many fond memories for me and I enjoy looking though them from time to time. Penny S.

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    1. I hope my nieces feel that way when I give them their little jars. They are only six inches tall so they won't take up much space.

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  17. Oh my goodness.. I, too, have been downsizing... for the past 5 years. Ever since the hubby died. And, moving into an apartment forced the issue. It's a cleansing feeling, isn't it? I have been receiving notifications via email but now with my new blog I am adding you to my blog list... hope to see you there.

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    1. Once you get on a roll, it really is a nice feeling...most of the time.

      Thanks for the heads up on your blog. I'm on my way over to check it out.

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  18. I'm now getting to read back thru some of the Archived Popular Posts and of coarse the Downsizing ones are my Fav! Since I'm in the thick of that myself and perhaps your Journaling will inspire me or at the very least make me laugh about similarities in our experiences with it. I have Antique Mason Jars filled with all manners of crap that I cannot part with and I don't know Why? Today I spent about an Hour going thru my Antique/Vintage Marbles Collection sorting them out to those I cannot bear to Let Go of... and those that I'll divvy into clear plastic Containers to bring in to my Grand-Daughter's Antique Mall Booth. I didn't know Antique Marbles could fetch as much as they do... people 'into' them have advised me about especially my European ones... but the ones I'm Selling Off are gonna be in tiny container Lots for Kid Collectors, on the Cheap. I had an infatuation with Marbles in my very early Teens and Thankfully many of my European Friends did too so we Traded and played Marble Games {Gambling with it... hey, we weren't Angelic}... and so Memories associated with some of my coveted Marbles are Priceless even tho' apparently the Marbles are worth way more than I ever anticipated!

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    1. That's good to hear about the marble prices. I have four Mason quarts and three pints of marbles...all the good ones plus a serving tray full of them. I don't want to let them go and most I'll probably keep as those jars are neat and don't take up much room. We need a marble downsizing support group!!!!! But I'll look at the prices they're bringing and may change my mind.

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